The hilarious "head in a trash can" photo you didn't know you wanted.

So, today's perusal of foreign newspapers has yielded solid gold. And, I just realized that my description in the post title sounds a bit macabre, but fear not! The head is indeed attached to a body. A man in Aberdeen, Scotland (currently my favorite man in all of Scotland) got himself wedged into a trash can, or "rubbish bin" if you speak British.

Heaven bless whomever decided to memorialize this on film:

Head in a rubbish bin.

The best part of this photo is the person in the lower right corner, grasping his friend on the shoulder and pointing with great animation. That person is a kindred spirit to me.

I truly hope those are the kindest, most understanding firemen in Scotland. Happy Monday, everyone.

Now serving complimentary crack rocks in the Super Bowl sky box.

"My husband cannot (bleeping) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times."

-Giselle, apparently gunning for a spot on the SportsCenter team

  

[sarcasm] She is such a classy lady. [/sarcasm]

If you know me, you know I laugh when people fall.

Okay, I know this is awful, but this photograph made me guffaw. Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers has just taken a knock to the head and is literally splayed out on his face, and the way this photo is set up, it looks like no one could possibly notice or care.

It appears as though a bunch of Redskins have run over to number 83 there to hear a bit of juicy gossip, and 30 appears to be scanning the crowd for his girlfriend. Those dudes in the background are perhaps enjoying the sunny day. Meanwhile Rodgers is like, "I am ON my FACE here. Anyone? Anyone at all? Seriously, you're just gonna let me lie here?"

Well, at least until we get a photo, dude.

No, thanks. Thirty's plenty.

So, my mom and my sisters sat down for a friendly game of 31 this afternoon. After taking her turn, my mother knocked, forgetting that you can’t do that if you’ve taken your turn. So we all knew she was going to knock the next time around. In fact, when Jen picked up a card, mom hovered her closed hand a few inches above the table, ready to knock the moment Jen discarded.

And she did, the very moment Jen discarded.

A Queen of hearts.

Which you’d probably want to pick up if you were holding the Ace, King, and nine of hearts.

Which mom was.

He’s how it went down: she knocked, she saw the queen, she screamed in horror, she collapsed on the kitchen floor. Her daughters broke into hysterics. Of course, I reached for the camera, because, well, obviously.

If you don’t know how to play 31, get someone to explain it to you so you can delight in this story.

Can someone please explain to me what the crap is going on with the French?

I have no idea who this man is.

So, apparently the French soccer team at the World Cup has imploded in a most spectacular fashion. I'm not going to pretend this doesn't please me a little, but I simply don't understand what's going on. I looked up various media reports and I have worked out that one guy got kicked off the team, one guy called some other guy a traitor (not sure if either of those guys are the one that got kicked off), someone (perhaps a coach?) has resigned, someone threw his stopwatch into the bushes, someone wrote a revolutionary manifesto, and someone on the team just flat-out called some other people on the team "stupid". I'm pretty sure the team is refusing to train, and I'm certain that various corporate sponsors have pulled out. So, you can see how this all adds up to madness on an international scale. These are grown men behaving this way. Hideous. Humiliating.

Delightful.

But also? Confusing. What's so confusing is that all the media reports are written as though I'm supposed to understand who all these people are and why they're hurling stopwatches and writing manifestoes. French names are being thrown around like beer bottles at a Philly Eagles game and I have no idea who anyone is. Except Nicolas Sarkozy. I know who he is, but I don't know why he's involved.

Can anyone explain this in a rational, understandable manner?

Perhaps my delight in the failures of others should worry me. Perhaps.

"This is me showing fear. Or wait, maybe it's anger. Or love. Oh, I don't know! I do them all the same."

So, New Moon comes out this Friday, as various television ads and every magazine printed in English is reminding me. Part of me is hoping it's better than Twilight, because despite their appeal to starry-eyed teenage girls, I really did enjoy those books very much. But part of me hopes it's just as heinous as the first movie so that I can enjoy all the unintentional comedy. I'm particularly looking forward to watching Kristen Stewart desperately try to emote.

And as long as we're talking about my delight in the misfortunes of others, did you see the Pats-Colts game tonight? What could be better than watching Bill Belichick choke on his own hubris? Watching him cry just after choking on his own hubris. He denied me that pleasure, but I suppose we can't have it all.