This weekend = craftiness and fun

Kris and I are heading to Liz and Zack's this weekend for the usual (playing with baby Wes, Rock Band, craftiness at Color Me Mine, etc.)

I expect awesomeness at every turn.

Serena Williams is flipping insane.

Did you watch the US Open match? How about the circus of a press conference immediately following, when she tried to justify her behavior? I'm actually kind of pleased she refuses to apologize or even acknowledge that she should apologize. This way I am free to be just as disgusted by her as I please, and isn't that what we all want?

She and Kanye West need to go have dinner with Christian Bale and Russell Crowe. They can form a club for rageaholics with no self-awareness whatsoever, and fight over who gets to be president.

Russell would throw phones, Serena would "shove bleeping tennis balls down people's bleeping throats," Kanye could scream about how Kim Clijsters didn't deserve to win the match because Serena's got one of the best games of all time, and then Christian could jump up on the table and declare, "You're all dead to me, professionally!"

For the last time, celebrities, listen up! If you're famous, you simply must try harder to hide your psychopathic tendencies. I don't need to be watching Gladiator and not be able to concentrate because all I can think is, "Dude throws phones at people when he doesn't get his way." I'm just trying to watch a movie. Or a tennis match. Or a crappy awards show.

Take a page from Tom Brady. I'm convinced he's got bodies in his basement, but it's not like he goes around in blood-soaked t-shirts. The only evidence he displays are his cold, dead eyes, and he can hardly hide those.

A drill story

So, last weekend I went to my Dad and told him I was having trouble with my drill. It wasn't allowing me to drill starter holes and I didn't know what I was doing wrong. So my Dad was like, "Describe the item to me." And I did so, and then he was like, "Yeah, that's not a drill. That's an electric screwdriver." (Shut up, James.)

So I went to Ace (the helpful place) and I am now the owner of an actual drill. I already used it to hang a shelf and it's so much fun to use! I just want to start drilling holes in all my walls. I need to exercise some restraint or I'm going to destroy my apartment.

This QB really ties the team together

My team is drafted and now I just have to hope that Kurt Warner doesn't shatter like a Czech crystal vase. Every time I turn around, someone is reminding me just how old and decrepit he is. Whatev!

Also, I now realize that my team name opens me up to taunts of, "Mark it zero, dude" anytime one of my players fails to produce. I accept that risk.

"Put the piece away, Walter."

Draft day!

Today, we draft. This year my team is named The Dude Abides, and my team slogan is. "This is not Nam. This is Fanstasy Football. There are rules." Either that, or, "Obviously you're not a golfer."

If you’re not getting any of this, you have my sympathy. Get thee to Netflix.

I'm drafting in first position. I don't want to spoil the surprise for anyone, but if you're one of the 3 people who read this blog, I'm giving you the inside scoop: I'll be taking AP. I really hope he does well, because by the time it snakes back to pick #20, I'll probably stuck with, like, Willis McGahee.

Hooray for the start of football season. "You got a date Sunday, baby!"

Farmers' Market Flowers

This week I nabbed some sunflowers for a harvesty, "Hello Fall!" look. I am so ready for Fall.



I also told the Flower Master (that's what I'm calling her now) to just arrange whatever she wanted for my second bouquet. She went with a lovely variety of pinks, with a few pale greens to keep things interesting.



Last week's flowers look pretty much the same as the day I bought them, so that's awesome.



And this week there was something new: dried flower balls. These two went home with me. Wouldn't these be a great favor for a bridal shower?



And on the way back I ran into Aunt Penny, so now all I can think about is delicious cookies.

Julia is two. And yet I haven't aged a day.

My marvelous little niece turned two on Sunday. Aunts, sorry I haven't posted photos on Facebook yet. It's on my To Do list, I promise.

Julia shoved her face with cake and had lots of fun ripping open presents. I got her a dress-up set and all you need to know about that is the two-year-old walks better in heels than I do. It's a humbling truth.