Trading down. Way down.

I don't follow celebrity gossip, because it makes me feel weird and stalkerish, but I innocently went to Yahoo today to search on shower curtains and I was hit in the face with the breaking news that supermodel Gisele Bundchen (did I spell that correctly?) has wed Patriots QB Tom Brady. First I said to myself, "Isn't he dating Jessica Simpson?" and then I responded to myself, "No, that's the other quarterback from the other team I hate."

But I have to say, I was dismayed for Miss Gisele. Even if you don't despise the Patriots with every fiber of your being like I do (and if not, what is wrong with you?) and even if you don't think Tom Brady gives off serious sociopath vibes (I declare that there is nothing but cold death behind those eyes), the fact remains that Gisele dated Leonardo DiCaprio for, like, decades. To experience that and then end up First Lady of the New England Patriots? Well, you've got your "something blue" all wrapped up there, Mrs. Brady.

Apparently now is the time to start my crime spree.

I have shallow fingerprints. I found this out today. I had to have my fingerprints scanned at work for reasons that are boring and long, but the upshot is that none of them scanned satisfactorily. The bare minimum is a 60% scan. I got 40% on one thumb and 20% on the rest of my digits. I was sent away in shame. Or something.

So, I guess I can handle murder weapons all I want and touch crime scenes with reckless abandon. Freedom!

I'm (Anthony's Song)

Hey all, in case you haven't heard, my upstairs neighbors have become far too noisy and have driven me from my home! (Well, it's really not as dramatic as all that, but I am movin' out in a few weeks.) I'm only moving about 5 blocks away because I cannot bear to be parted from the Westwood Plaza movie theater.

Bacon!

Bacon. It rocks. As Erica says, "It's nature's candy."

If you find you need a little more bacon in your life (And who doesn't? Except Kristen.) there is this totally cool thing I found that is so delightful and fun. Paste this:

http://bacolicio.us/

in front of any link, and you'll get a big old slice o' bacon across your page.

Like this. Or this. Hee hee! (Sorry, Kristen.)

This will make you smile.

Let's get a little bit rowdy.

I am so happy right now.

Tonight the Pittsburgh Steelers won their sixth Super Bowl victory. You know who else has six Super Bowl victories?

Yeah, that would be NOBODY.