Tonight, it began.

Tonight I officially bought my first Christmas present of 2010. I am that person that marketers are thinking of when they put out the Christmas ornaments in August. I am lured to them like Hollywood Montrose to jelly donuts. Also, it was Kohl's and I had a 30% off and ten bucks in Kohl's cash so I was powerless to stop myself.

It was for Jules and it's pretty and frilly and girly. Whee!

What's going on...

Still a little ill, still dreaming of Christmas.

If today was a fish, I'd have thrown it back.

Horrible, awful day at work. And there's still three more hours!

Am trying to remember that I am a Christian and it is not Christ-like to say to a co-worker, "You are a miserable troll. Go back to your cave."

The only way this day can be rescued is if Jermichael Finley gets at least seven points against Chicago tonight. It would make Jonesy's day decidedly worse, but I have to think about myself right now.

More from the mental institution where I spent last week

This is the building I was in. I never made it to the attic, but the third floor was super creepy.

I kept waiting for ghostly faces to appear at these windows.

Many of the buildings remain abandoned.

The institution had patients with tuberculosis and the prescription for that was fresh air. These porches were covered with fencing and the patients would sit in these little cells in the air. This is what's left of them.

Creepy!

Fire Island Lighthouse

I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this.

I am on Long Island this week facilitating a training class for work. Our classroom is located at a school that was once a mental institution. Are you imagining something creepy? It is every bit as creepy as you imagine. And more.

We arrived at our imposing building and were directed to the second floor. When the huge (for accommodating patients strapped to stretchers) and slow elevator arrived and the doors creaked open, we peered down a long, wide, really dark hallway. We tried to find our way by the eerie red glow of the exit signs and made it to the end of the hallway. When we found a set of double doors that led to a long, even darker hallway, we gave up and called for the guards to turn on some lights.

Now the floor is lit up and it’s still quite creepy. I’m sitting in a room next to a window. It is dark and stormy. The wind is blowing and the trees outside are casting shadows on the window and hitting against the glass. Every half-hour or so, the wind shudders the window so it sounds like someone is tapping on it. I jump every time. Atmosphere!

Our contact here showed me his office and informed me with glee that this was where they used to do the lobotomies. That’s why there’s a ramp leading to his door. The entire campus is twisty and confusing and designed to keep people in.

If I'm never heard from again, somebody take over my fantasy football team!

Run? Call 911? Hide the body?

Remember those "choose your own adventure" books from junior high? Man, I loved those. What a brilliant concept. Well, now someone's doing it on Twitter. Of course someone is. Check it out here, and click on the tweet that reads 'CHAPTER ONE: "You awake with a knife in your hand…"'

Good retro fun.

I do not cough for my own amusement.

I have recently climbed out of a black hole of illness. I think I had mono as well as a cold or sinus infection and maybe influenza. It's possible there was an ear infection going on, too. I don't want to be that sick again until right before I die. Today is the first day I've felt like I'm really on the mend, and I would do the happy dance if I had any energy.

During my illness, I missed a total of seven parties/picnics (blargh!) and had to take a hiatus from my photo blog (which has just devolved into a photo diary anyway so it would have been 18 consecutive photos of cough syrup, tissues, soup, and misery.)

So, here’s what was going on with me:

I slept at least 18 of each day’s 24 hours. At least. And it was never enough.

I found I had enough energy to either take a shower or brush my teeth, but not both.

Every time I looked in the mirror I was shocked, shocked at my appearance. It could best be described as “drugged albino.” The Chinese food delivery guy was shocked as well, and made no effort to hide it.

Family members brazenly recoiled at the sight of me. You know who you are.

I responded to friends and family with emails and texts reading "cant talk, so sick." Yes, I shunned proper grammar, capitalization, punctuation, etc. When society breaks down, the niceties are the first to go.

I was so tired from driving to my doctor's office, that I fell asleep in her waiting room for an hour and half.

I heard a strange noise in the middle of the night, and I just thought to myself, “Well, if murderers have gotten into the house, at least my suffering will be over soon.” And then I went back to sleep.

I coughed so hard I threw up. Twice. Horrible. Horrible.

Cousins, brace yourselves for Thanksgiving, because I plan to make up for all the board games I missed over Labor Day weekend. Big time.