I have something awesome to tell you about.

Okay, so you need to read this now. And by "this" I don't mean this blog post (but keep doing that); I mean The Sisters Brothers. It's terribly good. I checked it out because someone described it to me as "a Coen Brothers movie on paper," and of course that was all I needed to hear. (Their names are like catnip to me. I hesitate to tell you this, lest I give you too much power over me, but if you ever want me to try something, just tell me it's the Coen Brothers of whatever. "Ali, try this cookie. It's the Coen Brothers of cookies." Except that's a bad example because I will always try a cookie.)

It's about two brothers, Eli and Charlie Sisters, who are contract killers in California during the early years of the gold rush. They're hired by a man called The Commodore to kill a prospector for reasons unknown. That's all I'll say, except that the book is so good. The dialogue is perfect. The characters say exactly what needs to be said and no more, and the prose is like a kind of poetry.

Read it! And then thank me. Maybe with a cookie...

I am enjoying this so much.

You really should read it too.

You'll thank me, so you're welcome in advance.

This book is making me guffaw.

It would probably do the same for you.

Julia's first trip to the library

Last Friday, Julia took her first trip to the library, and Mom and Jen and I went with her. It was a very exciting trip for our little pumpkin.

That look is the face a three-year-old makes as her aunt drones on about how much fun she's going to have with that library card.

Mommy applies for Julsie's library card.

Giving her new library card to the librarian.

She wanted to sit down on the sidewalk and start reading her books.

Grandma let her walk on the bridge edge like we did when we were kids. They're tearing it down this summer.

And of course you have to slide off the end.

I suppose it had to end eventually...

Well, I finished Breaking Dawn and I am now prepared to rejoin the ranks those who live in society instead of shunning people like a book-obsessed hermit. Apparently I haven't been fit to be lived with lately. I'm going to have so much free time on my hands now that I don't have to hurry home every night to read for six hours at a clip. How will I fill my time? By chatting incessantly via email and Facebook with Liz in order to deconstruct every element of Breaking Dawn, obviously. I'll also be waiting for the crushing post-book depression to set in. I wonder if a vigorous re-watching of Buffy could stave that off...

Beck! Lex! Read faster so we can chat. Liz, email me!

These books are like crack. Totally addictive and about ten bucks each.

If you haven't heard from me in a while, it's because I've been shunning the company of humans in order to sequester myself in my apartment and read about vampires. So, those books that Liz recommended to me that I started reading last Monday? I'm on the fourth and final book now, and I have seriously been entertaining thoughts of taking off work so I could read all day. But I don't have that many vacation days left and I really would like to spend time with my family this Christmas. I hope they appreciate my restraint.

Becky is now reading them, too, and I think I've got Amanda interested. Join us! Join our obsession! Capitulate now!

What is obsession?

Taking your book with you on a run through the McDonald’s drive thru just in case you’re sitting there for a minute or two and can squeeze in some reading.

And you know what? It’s a good thing I did!

Okay Liz, you were so right to deny me your books. Fine. FINE.

If you’re wondering why I’m bleary-eyed and exhausted, that would be Stephenie Meyer’s fault. I have just discovered The Twilight Saga, and if you know what I’m talking about, you’re probably a teenaged girl. It’s a series of books about a girl who falls in love with a vampire and if you’re saying, “Wait a minute, Ali, that was a show and it was called Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” just hang on and hear me out. It’s not Buffy, but it’s sorta like Buffy which is maybe why I’m caught in its irresistible web. So caught, in fact, that I’ve been staying up till 2AM to read, which is where the exhaustion comes in.

These are the books that Liz thought about lending to me and then realized she just could not be parted from, so “sorry about that but get your own, baby.” And yes, she was absolutely correct to hoard them, yeah, yeah, whatever.

Now, I find that I do have some problems with this “love” story. Namely, that the hero of the piece is in a constant struggle not to chow down on the heroine of the piece. He’s a vampire, so basically when he looks at her he sees a big, old juicy Delmonico. And he’s ravenous. Now, maybe I have no romantic spark in me, but I just don’t go for love stories in which the guy has to constantly fight his own overwhelming urge to murder the girl. That’s not cool. That’s something that gets broadcast on the Lifetime channel. Were I in this situation, I’d point over his shoulder and say, “Is that the Red Cross Bloodmobile over there?” and then whoosh! my butt would be halfway to the nearest garlic field.

So I suppose it’s a testament to the author’s ability to weave a suspense story when I still can’t put the books down despite the fact that much of what the heroine says makes me shriek, “Oh, for pity’s sake!” right out loud, and most of what the hero says and does is creepy. Creepy like that scene in Silence of the Lambs that I refuse to watch where Hannibal Lecter escapes from the cage. Creepy like a Kiefer Sutherland movie marathon. Creepy like that look that Vincent D’Onofrio gives in Full Metal Jacket just before he shoots R. Lee Ermey. Also, the books are giving me nightmares, and yet still I cannot stop reading. Blast you, Stephenie Meyer!

Ahem. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go start the second book. There are some secondary characters that have the potential to be completely awesome, and I really do hope they turn out to be. And if these books sound intriguing to you, and you think you’d like to borrow them, well, sorry about that but get your own, baby.

Virginia is for lovers... of laziness.

Last week the Stombaugh family stretched our annual reunion to a whole week and relocated it from Portage to Williamsburg, Virginia. Many thanks to Aunt Joan for all her planning and work. It was a marvelous vacation week. We slept in, played games, read, swam, and relaxed. We pretty much lived Aunt Linda’s life for a week. It was fabulous. I finished No Country For Old Men (definitely read this book, people), six back issues of Entertainment Weekly, and put a good dent in my second reading of The Secret History (seriously, run, do not walk, run to the nearest bookstore and buy it. And then buy a second copy and gift it to a person you really like and think should have access to wonderful literature.)

Poor Jen had a sinus infection for most of the week, but she still had a nice, relaxing time. Melis has been teaching Jules the rubber ducky song (and also to love Ernie and despise Elmo) and so I bought Jules a huge rubber ducky at the Williamsburg Toy Shoppe. It's almost as big as she is and I had some reservations that she'd wig out and be terrified of it, but she's totally cool about it. She's going to have to start bathing in the big tub to accommodate her new bath time buddy. While we were in the toy shoppe, some old ladies started cooing over how adorable Julia is and one of them offered to purchase her from us. So that was a little weird. But I like weird.

Quick! Borrow this book from me!

So I just finished Devil in the White City by Erik Larson and it was so flippin' good. Larson tells the story of two men: one who spent his life building beautiful things that inspired his fellow men, and one that spent his life in a cruelly destructive way. Daniel Hudson Burnham was the chief architect of the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair and the book tells the story of his fascinating struggle to bring the Fair into existence. But while Hudson was building the Fair, another man, Dr. H. H. Holmes, was a few blocks away, luring unsuspecting people into his hotel and murdering them. It’s hard to believe that Jack the Ripper is so famous and yet I had never heard of Dr. Holmes. He was one creepy, nightmare-inducing dude.

The book is one part history, one part true-crime novel, and all parts good. Get thee to a library!

Movies: Ruining the book since 1920

Oscar-readiness continues with Atonement! Very good film. It got seven nominations, including one for Best Picture. It’s one of those lovely, sweeping epic films that usually win Best Picture, unless they’re up against even better films from the Coen Brothers about vicious murderers in Texas. Keira Knightley sometimes annoys me for reasons I cannot put my finger on, but she did a fine job here. James McAvoy was not physically right for the role of Robbie, but he’s so freakishly talented that you can hardly hold that against him. I did like it. I could have loved it, had not the book been quite 27 times better.

The whole time I was watching it, ringing through my mind was the motto from the T-shirt James told me about:

Movies: Ruining the book since 1920.

I can’t really get into what was different without spoiling the film, but seriously, go to a Barnes and Noble or a Borders or a library. Fiction, M. McEwan, Ian. Get the copy with the house and the fountain on the front, or the one with the little girl sitting on the steps. Don’t get the copy with the movie poster on the front or your imagination will be stunted and you’ll picture James McAvoy and Keira Knightley every time you pick it up to read it. That is, if you ever put it down. Really, this is the kind of book that makes you lie to your friends and say you can’t hang out with them because you’re busy, just so you can secretly stay home and read. This book will make you cancel dinner plans and leave parties early.

Ahem. Not that I ever did that, Chris.

But now for my favorite part of this whole experience: crossing off the nominations on my Oscar readiness list. This is especially fun since there are seven slots to cross off for this one. Crossing items off of lists is one of the great joys in life. It’s like a thunderstorm when you’re going to sleep, or messing up the peanut butter. Or reading a book by Ian McEwan.