So I’m going to talk about a few things, starting with pedicures and ending with hockey.

Jen and Melis and I went for pedicures last night at a place in the Galleria. The pedis were awesome and my feet look so nice now. As I was sitting there, allowing the nail polish to dry, I realized that I had idiotically worn my socks and sneakers there and if I tried to put them back on, they’d mess up my pretty new toenails. The pedicure place offered me some of their disposable flip flops and I really had no choice but to take them and wear them out into the mall. It was one of the more public of my many humiliations. I was trudging (yes, trudging, because I still had those foam separators between my toes) through the mall in bright yellow foam flip flops that were as thick as a fruit roll-up, and just as flimsy. I made Melis bring the car up to get me.

Then we headed to Applebee’s for dinner where talk turned to Fantasy Football, as it is wont to do. And if Becky or Linda were even reading this post, we just lost them there. Anyway, we talked about last year’s season and all the memories came back; how much I love Ronnie Brown, how much I despise Randy Moss, and how much Terrell Owens decimates any team foolish enough to take him.

Melis also mentioned that some of the guys would like to do a Points Per Reception league this year and how PPRs make someone like Wes Welker much more valuable. Then she started talking about receptions across the middle with a west coast offense and how Boldin got screwed because Arizona gave Fitz such an amazing contract. I may be getting some of the terms wrong here, but you get the picture. Anyway the guy at the next table over looked at Melis with an expression of shock and awe. He was thinking, “Holy crap! It’s a girl! And she knows about football! She knows more about football than I do!” And if it wouldn’t have been exceedingly tacky, I’d have whipped out my phone right there and snapped his photo because his expression was a delight. Also I was too busy being enraged by memories of Randy “Butterfingers” Moss dropping football after football in what could only be a personal attack on me and my Fantasy team. Jerk.

So now I’m all geared up for the next fantasy season and I’m wishing these endless hockey playoffs, which have been going on for like eight months now, would be over already. But, you know, go Pens!