T-Rex trying...

Have you ever found yourself wondering what troubles a tyrannosaurus-rex would encounter in modern-day living due to his teeny tiny arms?

Wonder no more.

The cutie-est.

So, I was at my parents’ house a couple weeks ago and my mom prompted Julia to tell me what exciting things had happened recently at pre-school. She told a story of how the class had gone on a bathroom break and when they returned the school room was a mess. Crayons were dumped out on the floor, Sierra’s nametag was ripped off her desk (Julia told this bit with a dramatic flair, miming the act of ripping a paper nametag off an 18-inch high desk), etc.

I was like, “Wait, wha…, did somebody break into the school while they were in the bathroom?” My mother chuckled and said, “Julia, tell Aunt Ali who did it.” Jules replied, “Ooh, it must have been that leprechaun!”

Yeah.

Apparently, the teacher is (daily, mind you) vandalizing her own classroom in secret so as to make the children think a leprechaun is roaming the school grounds. That seems like a lot of work (and clean-up) for such a ruse, and Jules is quite exasperated with that leprechaun.

So, last week the kids were strategizing on how to catch the leprechaun and Julia’s classmate Christian turned to her and said, “We should use you for bait because you’re the cutie-est.”

Well, she is pretty cute.

Katniss and Cinna

This looks to be right before she heads into the arena. It's killing me!

One more week!

I have something awesome to tell you about.

Okay, so you need to read this now. And by "this" I don't mean this blog post (but keep doing that); I mean The Sisters Brothers. It's terribly good. I checked it out because someone described it to me as "a Coen Brothers movie on paper," and of course that was all I needed to hear. (Their names are like catnip to me. I hesitate to tell you this, lest I give you too much power over me, but if you ever want me to try something, just tell me it's the Coen Brothers of whatever. "Ali, try this cookie. It's the Coen Brothers of cookies." Except that's a bad example because I will always try a cookie.)

It's about two brothers, Eli and Charlie Sisters, who are contract killers in California during the early years of the gold rush. They're hired by a man called The Commodore to kill a prospector for reasons unknown. That's all I'll say, except that the book is so good. The dialogue is perfect. The characters say exactly what needs to be said and no more, and the prose is like a kind of poetry.

Read it! And then thank me. Maybe with a cookie...

In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking...

This weekend, Melis, Eric, and I took a whirlwind trip to NYC to see Sutton Foster's final performance in Anything Goes. Oh man, it was so good. She earned every bit of that Tony.

The tap dancing! The Cole Porter songs! The adorable guys in sailor uniforms! Marvelous, just marvelous.

When Sutton first took the stage, the show had to stop for the enormous applause that went on and on. There was a standing ovation at the act break and a standing ovation in the middle of act 2 and of course another one at the end. The cast, led by Joel Grey, sang the song "Friendship" to her at the end of the show. It was all just lovely.

As Mr. Porter would say, delightful, delicious, delovely!

Finland is obviously awesome.

And the coolest thing Air France does is give you an extra bottle of wine.

Just before they steal your luggage.

Oscars! The dresses, the speeches, the comic retribution borne of ill-made bets...

I’m going to start my very late review of the Oscars by saying this: Sweeping, hyperbolic statements made in the heat of the moment are bound to get you in trouble. More on that later. First, the dresses.

Loving:


Michelle Williams

Just lovely, great color, and the sparkly little bow is my favorite.


Natalie Portman


Vintage!

Penelope Cruz

She made this look beautiful, but I suspect it might just be because she’s Penelope Cruz.

Meryl Streep

Age appropriate and classy.


Gwyneth Paltrow


She pulled off a cape. A cape, people. (And I also like the Bollywood thing going on with the woman on the left.)

Octavia Spencer

Love the fit, love the style, love everything.

Jessica Chastain

I’m not sure if I really like the dress or if it’s just so much better than everything else (awful) that she’s worn this season or if I’m simply jealous of her hair.

Not Loving:

Jennifer Lopez

Even without the Super Bowl halftime flashbacks, it’s awful.

Berenice Bejo

It’s such a shame. She’s so lovely and has looked really gorgeous at other awards shows, but this is so matronly.

Angelina Jolie

I don’t really have an opinion on the dress one way or another, but she was doing this stance all night and I think she looked like an ass.

Shailene Woodley

This was made for a 48 year old woman. In 1973.

And now for the Awards. In short: The Artist won and all was right with the world...

Things I Loved:

The Cirque du Soleil presentation. It was especially fun watching this with Jules who squealed in delight as the acrobats flew through the air.

The focus group for The Wizard of Oz. Most of it was so-so, but I loved Fred Willard’s, “Am I crazy or was one of them green?”

Once again, no tacky clapping for the In Memoriam segment, and beautiful backing vocals by Esperanza Spalding.

Lovely acceptance speeches from Christopher Plummer, Meryl Streep (but more on her later), and Jean Dujardin (“I love your country!”) We love you too, Jean.

Emma Stone’s presentation with Ben Stiller. She is hilarious and an utter delight. Maybe she should host some time. Also fabulous: Chris Rock talking about how he is ridiculously overpaid for voice acting, Rose Byrne and Melissa McCarthy playing their Scorsese drinking game, and Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell playing (and dropping) the cymbals.

Things I did not love:

Most of the other presentations:

Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr’s clunky documentary bit = awkward.

J Lo and Cameron Diaz attempting to be funny = even more awkward.

Bad writing + celebrities with no comic timing = let’s just have Emma Stone present everything.

It pains me to say this, but Billy was a disappointment. Maybe my expectations were too high, having built him up in my memory as the ultimate Oscar host, or maybe he’s just older and off his game, but there were lots of attempts at humor and far less actual humor. One noted exception: the “what the stars are actually thinking” bit.

Okay, so the sweeping, hyperbolic statement that got me in trouble:

I mentioned in my review of The Iron Lady that my friend Eric from Trivia is in love with Meryl Streep (first lady, Reagan glory days, etc, etc) and that I didn’t care for the film at all. Naturally we got into it one night at Trivia re: Meryl vs. Viola, and a heated debate ensued. Viola was riding high on Globe and SAG awards and I really felt she’d win the Oscar. She deserved that Oscar. She was the heart and soul of The Help and her performance was magnificent. Eric was certain Meryl had it in the bag.

Needing to shut him up once and for all, I held aloft my water glass, made of hard, red plastic, and declared, “If she wins Best Actress I will eat this cup! I will break it into pieces, crunch it down, and digest it!”

So you can see where this is going. Let it never be said that Aunt Linda has cornered the market on hyperbole.

Later, when Eric reminded me that the Academy is overwhelmingly made up of old, white men (i.e. just the sort of people who would vote for an impression of a British prime minister from a mediocre film), I started to get slightly nervous. But, I carried on with a show of confidence that I was right, which is the only thing to do in such a situation.

Eric and Lex both came over to watch the Oscars with the family. You can imagine how it went down. Meryl’s name was called, I gasped in pearl-clutching horror, the room erupted into a cacophony of yelps and laughter and Schadenfreude. And one week later, I was doing this:

I will say Meryl’s speech was lovely. But so was Cuba Gooding Jr.’s when he got Edward Norton’s Oscar.

Everdeen. Katniss Everdeen.

First look at Katniss in action. I'm pretty sure Seneca Crane is about ready to lose it.



I am very excited for this. I hope it doesn't let me down.