So, after the Strayers’ Labor Day picnic, five of us headed out for a round of The Wal-Mart Game. If you forgot, the rules are simple. Each team chooses ten objects, we switch carts, teams must return the objects to their rightful places, and then return to the finish line, in this case the display of corn on the cob near the produce section.
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| Team Zack/Kris upon our arrival. Note the time on the screen behind them. Yeah, we're hardcore. |
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| Team Liz/Lex/Ali, ready to go. |
Things started out rough for Liz, Lex, and me. We found one item fairly quickly and then settled in for a long drought. We had seven or eight items left when we saw Kris and Zack and, to our horror, noticed they were down to one. They had even ditched their cart! Oh, the hubris! It looked as though a humiliating defeat, the likes of Napoleon in Russia, was in store for us. At that point our goal was just to get down to two or three items before Kris and Zack declared victory, so that we could at least hold our heads up on the ride home.
Some of the items that drove us mad: Cupcake
jewelry (Yes, you read that correctly. As in jewelry to adorn cupcakes, not people jewelry that happened to be
shaped like cupcakes.), a hose coupler that was NOT labeled as a hose coupler (or
as anything else for that matter), and a bottle of mineral oil meant for the
care of bamboo objects.
We were all over that store, to no avail. Once we found the pencil case in the cereal aisle (nice logic, Wal-Mart), we returned once again to the clearance aisles with their messy shelves and acrylic bins. Alexa growled, “Eyes peeled, ladies!” like a drill sergeant. It was past 2:00 AM and I was so over this game at that point that I began to tear the aisle apart like Marilyn Monroe looking for a Valium. I was certain Kristen had chosen something from one of the bins and then buried its twin, so I began to shake them like a British nanny. It must've been impressive because for a moment Liz and Lex just stood and stared at me and then Alexa took out her phone and began to film me. It was fate, for when Alexa turned off her camera, she looked up and saw the cupcake jewelry hanging right behind her.
And then we were on a roll. The hose
coupler! The flag pole bracket! The Cinderella Lipsmacker duo with bonus
keychain holder! When we finally found our final item, the bamboo oil, Alexa
dropped to her knees on the floor of
Wal-Mart and threw her arms in the air in victory.
Then we hightailed it to the corn.
Then we hightailed it to the corn.
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| Victory! |
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| Team Winner! |
In the end Kris and Zack were undone by that one final item, a Batman keychain/pencil sharpener. Bruce Wayne can always be relied upon. It was the first item we picked up. Liz grabbed it off the shelf and said, “How about this? You probably wouldn’t look for a keychain in the jewelry section.”
Well played, Mrs. B. Well played.
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| Felled by the Dark Knight. Or at least his keychain. |
8 comments:
Can I just say, we got the cart from you and Zack is calmly looking through the stuff; meanwhile, I'm thinking "Well, crap. We're doomed." And even though we sped through them, it was agony (agony) to spend 45 minutes with just that wretched keychain. I really wanted to comb through the grocery aisles (which would have been futile, anyway), and Zack wisely said "I don't think things are that desperate just yet." Which, come to think of it, was a very Dowager Countess statement.
That was very Dowager Countess of him. Bravo. Come to think of it, the lights in Wal-Mart do give off such a glare. I feel as though I were onstage at the Gaiety.
I've noticed Zack enjoys that ditching the cart move. It is mental move that intimidates an already frustrated team. Way to persevere!
I enjoy the shot of Alexa on the ground, but I must say the seconds it took for her to kneel could have cost you the win. Run to the finish, Miller; then collapse in ecstasy.
Rookie!
Wish I could have joined you. I miss this game.
I thought the unintentional cheating scandal of the first time you played might have put you off of the game forever.
Also, Zack may enjoy ditching the cart but that's because Zack doesn't have a heavy purse to carry. Until I get that footman I've been saving up for, I will remain with my cart forever.
You forget that I danced for 15 years. Do you know how many times I've fallen on stage and popped right back up without missing a beat?
Believe me, it didn't cost us anything. :)
Allison, just make sure that footman isn't Thomas...
I am definitely saving up for a non-evil footman, but sometimes I think I'd even put up with Thomas if he'd carry my stuff.
He'd totally poison my tea, though, wouldn't he?
He would unless you could find some dirt against him. Then he'd be at your mercy...
This could work.
I think that would only make him poison my tea faster. Except that he can't ever get anything right, so he'd probably end up poisoning himself.
You're right. This could work.
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