Guess who I'm having breakfast with tomorrow.

This guy:


Prayers for my sanity are greatly appreciated.

So I’m going to talk about a few things, starting with pedicures and ending with hockey.

Jen and Melis and I went for pedicures last night at a place in the Galleria. The pedis were awesome and my feet look so nice now. As I was sitting there, allowing the nail polish to dry, I realized that I had idiotically worn my socks and sneakers there and if I tried to put them back on, they’d mess up my pretty new toenails. The pedicure place offered me some of their disposable flip flops and I really had no choice but to take them and wear them out into the mall. It was one of the more public of my many humiliations. I was trudging (yes, trudging, because I still had those foam separators between my toes) through the mall in bright yellow foam flip flops that were as thick as a fruit roll-up, and just as flimsy. I made Melis bring the car up to get me.

Then we headed to Applebee’s for dinner where talk turned to Fantasy Football, as it is wont to do. And if Becky or Linda were even reading this post, we just lost them there. Anyway, we talked about last year’s season and all the memories came back; how much I love Ronnie Brown, how much I despise Randy Moss, and how much Terrell Owens decimates any team foolish enough to take him.

Melis also mentioned that some of the guys would like to do a Points Per Reception league this year and how PPRs make someone like Wes Welker much more valuable. Then she started talking about receptions across the middle with a west coast offense and how Boldin got screwed because Arizona gave Fitz such an amazing contract. I may be getting some of the terms wrong here, but you get the picture. Anyway the guy at the next table over looked at Melis with an expression of shock and awe. He was thinking, “Holy crap! It’s a girl! And she knows about football! She knows more about football than I do!” And if it wouldn’t have been exceedingly tacky, I’d have whipped out my phone right there and snapped his photo because his expression was a delight. Also I was too busy being enraged by memories of Randy “Butterfingers” Moss dropping football after football in what could only be a personal attack on me and my Fantasy team. Jerk.

So now I’m all geared up for the next fantasy season and I’m wishing these endless hockey playoffs, which have been going on for like eight months now, would be over already. But, you know, go Pens!

Apparently this is the TV blog now

All you fans of The State! Hearken to my voice! I have to pass along this extremely pertinent info. Michael Ian Black (a.k.a. Barry Lutz) and Michael Showalter (a.k.a. Doug) are shooting a new show for Comedy Central this summer. It's called Michael & Michael Have Issues. Here's a blurb:

Series stars Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter in a different twist to the narrative and sketch comedy format where both host a fictitious sketch show. The show-within-a-show will also offer viewers a glimpse into the issues, big and small, that plague both Michaels about each other. Premieres July 15 at 1030p.

July 15! The only thing that would distract me from watching it is if I'm too busy plowing through my DVDs of The State.

James, don't you have a hankering to tell me you love brisket?

Southland. You NEED to watch this show.

"Yeah, you're gonna love me."

I know this is two posts in a row that are all “Watch this thing!” but I would feel like a total hog if I kept Southland to myself. I love you people and want you to have access to good TV.

Okay, here’s the thing. The promos for this show sucked. It looked self-important. It looked poorly written. It looked bad. What can I say? Fire the ad department because this show rocks the Kasbah! Watch it. Watch it NOW.

I originally had no plans to watch this show, but Michael Cudlitz is in it and I’m, like, biologically wired to check out the projects of the entire cast of Band of Brothers, with the exception of David Schwimmer and, even taking him out of the mix, it’s still a huge cast so this can be rather exhausting, especially with some of the film choices Neal McDonough has made lately, but it has brought me into the Southland fold so I can be thankful for that. And it’s only right that Cudlitz is the one to lure me in because he is the standout of an outstanding cast. Sorry for anyone who has to share a scene with him because he steals every single one of them, just like the thieves that these LAPD cops hunt down. I can’t say enough about his performance. Someone bring me more adjectives!

Also in this awesome cast? Ben McKenzie. Unfortunately for him, he has to share most of Cudlitz’s scenes, but he actually does a great job of holding his own. I did not know of this actor before this show. Apparently he was quite famous from that Fox show The O.C., which I did not watch previously, but now I’m considering Netflixing it because this guy is really very good. I mean, think about that. This guy is so good on Southland that I’m actually considering Netflixing four seasons of a Fox teen soap opera starring the unbearable Mischa Barton. Clearly he impressed me.

Also witness the awesomeness of Regina King (Yep. Brenda from 227. She rocks.), Kevin Alejandro (the beloved and much-missed Santos from Ugly Betty, but hardcore Alias fans will remember him as the smokin’ evil Cesar from that episode that flashes back to Nadia’s past in Argentina) and Shawn Hatosy, who hasn’t really been in anything I’ve seen but is wonderful in his role nonetheless.

For my fellow children of the 80s, C. Thomas Howell is also in the show, playing Officer Dewey. It took me about three episodes to realize it was him. I kept saying, “Man, this Dewey character is annoying. And where the heck is C. Thomas Howell?” Tom Everett Scott (Guy Patterson from That Thing You Do!) is pretty much wasted in his role, but who even cares because I just want more scenes with Michael Cudlitz.

The show is about 5 episodes into its run right now, so I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you this sooner, but go to Hulu.com and watch them and then email me to tell me how right I was in insisting that you watch this show. And then we can want more scenes with Michael Cudlitz together.

Get thee to thy Netflix queue!

"What do you mean we're out of gin?"

Have you ever seen The Thin Man?

Well, you really oughtta do something about that.

You know how in Murder By Death all the detectives are based on famous fictional detectives? Like Peter Falk’s Sam Diamond is based on Sam Spade, and Peter Sellers’ hilarious Sydney Wang is based on Charlie Chan? And if you’re not getting any of this, it means you haven’t seen Murder By Death, and that is a REAL tragedy. Truman Capote railing on about the use and non-use of pronouns, prepositions, and articles is comedy gold. I’m laughing right now just thinking about it. “Ah! Voice come from cow on wall!”

Where was I?

Oh yes, so, Dick and Dora Charleston, as portrayed by David Niven and Maggie Smith, are based on Nick and Nora Charles, the heroes of The Thin Man. There were six Thin Man movies made, and Jen and my parents and I have been watching them, and they are so delightful I felt compelled to tell you about them. They’re so clever and fun and every good adjective. Nick and Nora drink like fish, dress like a Vanity Fair ad, and toss off witticisms with wry coolness, all while solving murders and being fabulous. Rent them! Do it now!

This is very wrong. (And just a tiny bit right.)

Am I the only one who simultaneously thinks this Titanic thing is appallingly tacky yet still totally wants to do it?

However, their plans to take exactly 1,309 people on the voyage make no sense. Titanic did not set sail with 1,309 people. If I correctly remember the actor playing First Officer Murdoch in the 1997 film, there were approximately “2,200 souls on board.” Maybe that 1,309 number they keep throwing around is the number that died, in which case this just got very creepy. Perhaps they’re planning even more of a re-creation than the passengers imagine?

I ought to look out the window more often.

I knew my new backyard had some trees in it, but they were bare when I moved in and I know as much about trees as I do about Swahili dialects, so imagine my surprise when I looked out my back window this morning and saw this:

The blooms are such a lovely shade of pink.

There's also this gorgeous red one up front by my living room and dining room windows. When the sun hits it, it looks like it's on fire.