Went to see Eclipse last night...

"Just try to take me seriously. I dare you."

Amanda's in town so we went to see Eclipse with Jess and Brandy. It was hilarious and there was much giggling. Before it was all over we were certain we were going to get jumped in the parking lot by a band of outraged fifteen-year-olds. (We didn't. But we could have.)

Particularly laughable moments:

Edward still looks like he sprayed his face with baking flour and then got into my make-up bag and stole all my Juicy Tubes. The effect is clown-like, and therefore I could not take him seriously even if Pattinson could act, which he cannot.

Kristen Stewart's scenes were accompanied, as usual, by the audience's collective plea to "Emote! For the love of decency, emote!" She refused.

I still cackle like a hyena whenever Jasper comes on screen, which is unfortunate because he has a lot more screen time in this one. But the hair. Oh, the hair. How can I be expected to retain my composure?

Speaking of hair, they finally colored Rosalie's brunette roots, but left her super-dark eyebrows, which look even darker now that her roots are blond. The effect is so distracting, I couldn't pay attention to anything the actress said. I doubt I missed anything important.

The ring. Hideous. A collective cry of horror arose from our aisle when he opened the box.

Finally, you know you're old when you think the dad is the most attractive man in the movie. What? Chief Swan's a handsome fella. Don't judge me.