Oscar Round-up Part I: The Show

This is horribly late because I am crazy busy in my life right now (and the state of my apartment confirms this) so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't even interested anymore, but here's the first part of the Oscar round-up.

We had our annual Oscar party. The party prizes this year were chocolates (like Elsa and Anna wanted to stuff in their faces at the Coronation Day party), Astronaut ice cream (like Sandra Bullock might have enjoyed before everything went awry with her space walk), and fake mustaches (straight off the faces of the American Hustle cast). This year, Julia did indeed want my candy prizes.

Jennifer won all of the pre-show games. The Name the Oscar Gown quiz, the Best Picture Whittle-down game, the Movie Quote quiz, she won them ALL, even though Eric had crammed. And as her prize-haul grew, so did the other guests’ resentment. As the show started, with only Oscar Bingo and the Award Poll to go, it was on!

Spoiler alert! In the end, she won those as well, but it was fun to watch others try to complete Bingo too, and get in on some of those sweet, sweet mustaches.

Moments we enjoyed:

JLaw. So relate-able.

Jennifer Lawrence biting it on the red carpet, just as I would have done. 

Pharrell's performance of Happy, which just got better and better as it went on.

"They're never going to give me one of these, are they?"

Imagining what poor Leo was thinking when Best Actor was announced.

Keep tight inside of it! Its magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want it so badly.

P!nk, singing "Over the Rainbow" while dressed as a ruby slipper.

The Best Song winners giving a rhyming speech. "Idina Menzel, Kristen Bell..."

Jamie Foxx scoring the presentation to Best Score with his rendition of the Chariots of Fire theme.

Lupita winning a much-deserved Oscar.

The selfie.

I had one job. And I'm blowing it.

Travolta and his "Adele Dazeem." What an idiot.

Oh, she is magnificent.

Darlene Love, singing her acceptance speech for Best Doc, and getting a rousing standing O.

Steve McQueen literally jumping for joy when 12 Years a Slave won Best Picture. Good for you, sir.

Other amusing moments came when we were all trying desperately to win Bingo after Jennifer had won twice and Julia had won as well. All I needed for Oscar bingo was “five or more people go one stage to accept an award.” During the 20 Feet from Stardom acceptance, four people went onstage and talked about their fellow producer, Gil, who died a few weeks before. So, this happened:

Ali: If Gil was alive I’d have bingo! 

Melis: That is awful! 

Ali: I know. I’m a terrible person. 

Melis: That makes Jennifer’s “I need someone to trip” seem much better by comparison.

And this...

An exasperated Eric was waiting to cross off "Goldie Hawn presents an Oscar" to win Bingo. When I told him that he could just have a prize without winning Bingo, he exclaimed, "No, I don’t want the candy prizes if I didn’t win them!"  

Later, when Ms. Hawn came onstage to introduce a segment this went down:

Eric: Goldie Hawn is presenting in my mind. 

Ali: Really, she’s not. 

Eric: Pass me the PRIZES!

(Jennifer crawls out from under her mountain of prizes to pass the prize basket to Eric. He accepts with mild disgust.)

Or, the time my mother was like a TMZ reporter...

Jen: Who is Bradley Cooper there with? 

Ali: Oh, I have no idea. 

Mom: He's dating a 21-year-old model. 

Ali: Who ARE you? 

Or the time she was... not. 

Ali: I can't believe Jordan Catalano is about to get an Oscar. 

(They announce Jared Leto's name.) 

Mom: What? Did you think he deserved it more than this guy? 

Melis: (entering from the kitchen) I can't believe Jordan Catalano just got an Oscar.

Next up: The Clothes!