Monday, March 23, 2009

I'm hoping to spot tea and crumpets in the interrogation room.

]I'm not sure if you’re aware of this, but we Americans steal shamelessly from the British when it comes to television. In the Game Show Department: Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? and The Weakest Link; in the Lasted For Three Episodes Because the Humor Or “Humour” Doesn’t Translate Department: Coupling and Cold Feet; in both the Awesome and We Ended Up Doing It Better Departments: The Office.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before they started stealing back, and they chose a show that’s been running since the Carter administration. Law and Order: UK is currently in production and I am about to hop a flight to London just to see an episode. I’m trying to imagine what kind of Cockney-voiced wisecracks an English Lennie Briscoe would make, or what a British version of “Hang ‘Em High” Jack McCoy would look like. I’m imagining a wig. The big, white, powdery kind. I should think it would be difficult to perform a withering, self-righteous cross-examination with that thing perched upon your pate.

In true American style, they’re stealing the scripts of the early seasons and just shooting those. I have to wonder how that’s going to work since London’s crime rate is apparently a fraction of New York’s and I just can’t think of an English equivalent for Detective John Munch.

And British detectives don’t even carry guns. Can you imagine Elliot Stabler without a gun? How would he arrest someone? “Pardon me, sir. Would you be kind enough to come with us? We’re arresting you on suspicion of murder and all sorts of tomfoolery. Oh, I say! Stop running this instant! In the name of Her Majesty, stop!”

And that was your peek into my fevered, xenophobic imagination.

3 comments:

Kristen said...

"Tomfoolery" -- just imagining a detective saying that has me laughing at my desk!

Jimmy Jam said...

The Office sucks....The british version was just right. The American version...well something has to be done with Michael, Dwight and even Jim. The only thing redeemable about the show is the others...and they have bit parts. At least the British version knew when to go out on top. The Office is becoming like the Cosby show when Olivia was born. Tired and old.

Ali said...

James, say what you will about Dwight and Michael, but leave Jim Halpert (a.k.a. "my TV boyfriend") out of this. He rocks the Casbah and I will hear nothing else said on that subject.

Also, I just found out there's been a Law and Order: Paris for about two years, and Richard Belzer has even guested. I'd give my right pinky to see that episode. I don't think Det. John Munch would be taking any crap from the French. Not after having lived in Baltimore.