Julsie is 5.

Today my favorite little girl turned five. Five! She had a lovely party with a roast chicken feast and lots of presents. Happy Birthday, Julia. I love you to the blue, blue sky.

Presents! Ballet costumes from Grandma and Pappy and a gumball machine from Mommy.

Aunt Missy and Uncle Brian got her a Merida dress and I got her the bow and arrow set (which she wanted so she could be like Legolas.)

The first arrow whizzed past Aunt Missy's ear. She's a natural!

I also got her a Merida wig. It is clearly fabulous and does NOT, as Melissa puts it, make her look like a "deranged Bette Midler."

Getting shooting lessons from Pap.

Grandma and Pappy also surprised her with a big girl bike.

Soon she won't need those training wheels.

Double kisses.

What is a grit?

Spotted on my way home from work today:

"No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits."

That's weird.

So, Julia is obsessed with the Lord of the Rings movies, and aside from being convinced that Legolas is a girl, she is all about the evil characters. She loves the orcs, the uruk hai, the cave troll, and especially the Balrog. She thinks the Nazgul are cool, too, especially when they're riding on the fell beasts.

She watches Fellowship and keeps rewinding to the orcs in Moria and the Balrog at the Bridge of Khazad Dum. She can't get enough of it. I keep trying to show her the Shire scenes and Merry and Pippin stealing fireworks from Gandalf's cart and ending up washing dishes, and she thinks it's funny for a second and then she wants to fast forward to an orc scene. She's four years old and she loves orcs.

This is the face my angelic little niece wants to see before she goes to bed.

She also had this to say, upon encountering the Ents: "Merry and Pippin ran away and the orc chased them and they ran up in a tree and guess what! The tree talks! The tree talks. That's weird."

There's weirdness to spare, my little pumpkin. Weirdness to spare.

MCFFL Draft Order!

It's vacation week at the Gibsons', which means two things: I am sunburnt, and Mags and Jules pulled the draft order. So, without further ado, the Mehall Cousin Fantasy Football League draft for 2012 will proceed as follows...

Preparing the name slips, and getting some cheek from Jules.

First pick! Who will it be?

Jamie! (Incidentally, Jamie was recently heard declaring, "We've got to get some new people pulling those names. They never pick me first!")

Julia's first pick...

...goes to Jonas.

Our faithful recorder.

Melis got third...

...and she was totally thrilled. When asked her opinion about the draft positions, she responded that she thought 5th was the worst spot this year. Jen promptly got the 5th spot.

In the end, here's how it shook out.
I'm off to practice mock drafts in spot #7.

Olympic withdrawal already?

Yeah, me too. So check out the Twitter stream of the awesome and engaging Neil deGrasse Tyson, who, in honor of our Mars rover landing, enlightened us as to what the Olympics would be like on the red planet. Very cool.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

The #MarsScienceLaboratory arrives at the RedPlanet in the middle of the #Olympics back here on Earth. Hmmm...

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

How about a Mars #Olympics? Yes, all athletes would suffocate. Ignoring that complication -- way cooler than Earth #Olympics.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

If there was Swimming on Mars, the low temperature & low air pressure would force the pool to simultaneously freeze & boil.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

If there was Cycling on Mars, try Olympus Mons -- a volcanic mountain 5x taller than Mont Blanc in the Alps.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Like to Kayak white waters? Valles Marineris on Mars is nearly 10x the length of Arizona's Grand Canyon.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

With 1% of Earth's air density, Badminton on Mars would be different -- a shuttlecock to the face lands you in the hospital.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Rowing on Mars would log about the same race times. There's hardly any movement with or against the 62% lower gravity there.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Women's BeachVolleyball on Mars: No protective ozone layer there. Solar UV would irradiate all exposed legs, buns, & tummies

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Gymnastics: On Mars, with only 38% of Earth's gravity, the Vault & other spring-assisted leaps would resemble circus cannons.

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Weightlifters, whose sole job is to raise barbells from planets that attracts them, on Mars achieve 2.6x their personal bests

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏@neiltyson

Congratulations to all medal winners in the 2012 #Olympics: Gold Silver & Bronze (copper+tin). All forged in exploding Stars

Celebrities who use Twitter to tell us about their morning McDonald's run should take note. This is how it's done.

The Modern Prometheus is totally on fire.

So, this week I headed downtown to the National Shakespeare Theater to see a play. Sort of. The National Theatre in London has a program where they broadcast their plays to theaters all over the world. It's great! The filmwork is wonderful and they show them on a huge screen, so there's not a bad seat in the house.

I saw Frankenstein, adapted into a play by Nick Dear and directed by Danny Boyle (the mastermind behind the awesome London Olympic Opening Ceremonies). But I must confess the main draw for me was Benedict Cumberbatch (Yes, Sherlock. Got your attention now, Lex, right?). He and Jonny Lee Miller (who interestingly enough will also be playing a modern day Sherlock in the new American show Elementary--I shall reserve judgement until viewing) have the roles of Victor and the Creature. But, and here's where it gets interesting, they both play both roles, and switch off with different performances.

Clever, huh?

I got tickets to two showings so I could see them in both roles and compare. On Tuesday I saw Mr. Cumberbatch as the Creature and Mr. Miller as Victor, and on Sunday they'll reverse. Tuesday's show was insanely great and I don't know that I'll like the reversal as much, but I'm eager to see it. Nick Dear's script makes the Creature far more sympathetic than Victor (who is just kind of a jerk, quite frankly--I wonder what Mary Shelley would say to it), and I'm wondering if my memory of that will bleed over and I'll like Cumberbatch's Victor more and Miller's Creature less. I can't wait to find out.

In other news, the National Shakespeare Theater is very cool and I anticipate taking full advantage of my proximity to it. They have some of their costumes on display in the lobby and they're completely magnificent.

Check the jeweled collar. Yeah.

They also have a small gift shop and one of the items they sell are purses and pouches made from leftover material used in the costume shop. I picked up this lovely little coin purse, and the material is so pretty and rich.

I was deciding between this one and another one, when I looked inside and found they write on the tag which show the material came from. Clearly I had to choose this one. I love just Twelfth Night. Viola rules!

May the Schwartz be with you.

This past weekend, I headed up to the AFI Silver Theater for a showing of Spaceballs. That's right, Spaceballs. It was the crown jewel of their Awesome 80s series, and I was delighted to get to see such a classic on the big screen. I expected to find maybe 20 or 30 people when I arrived. Imagine my surprise to see a crowd of hundreds.

Apparently it was the 25th anniversary of Spaceballs (25 years?!) and the theater was hosting a huge event. There was a raffle for copies of the anniversary Blu-ray, an Imperial Death Star Officer cap, and a couple of sweet lightsabers, none of which I won. Alas.

It was really cool to be in a crowded theater of people who were all yelling in unison, "What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?"

They were also handing out lightsaber lollipops at the door which they encouraged us to light up and wave around at key moments in the film, such as the famous Schwartz battle between Dark Helmet and Lone Starr. James, you shoulda been there.

My lightsaber lollipop.  I chose Vader red over Skywalker green .

And it lights up. For tiny battles.

Now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

Julia in Virginia

Last weekend, I had the cutest little house guest. Jen brought Jules down for a visit. We went swimming (for about 45 minutes until Julia declared she had had enough) and watched the Olympics on the fold-out couch bed in the living room (which delighted her to no end. A bed! In the living room!)

She also...

...took a bath in the big tub with lots of bubbles...

...then made herself a bubble beard, declared "I look like Gnomeo," and looked at her  reflection in the faucet while saying in a deep, Scottish voice, "Hello there, Juliet."

Then she found a vintage camera on my bookshelf and begged to have it mounted on my tripod. 

Then she walked around the apartment snapping fake photos and asking us to pose and smile. 

And when she wanted to take a photo of something higher up, she just lifted the camera, and the tripod along with it.

Then she gave me a manicure.

Tres chic, eh?

You're invited back anytime, Jules.

London, baby!

Olympics, Olympics, Olympics! I am DVRing every bit of coverage and I haven't looked back. Whilst ensconcing myself in Olympic coverage like George Costanza wanted to with velvet, I came up some fun facts.

Did you know...

...the Fab Five's fab leotards for the team competition (in which they completely DESTROYED) were encrusted with 4,437 crystals each? Each! I believe that qualifies as a boatload.

Check the stones.

If you're gonna win gold, you might as well shine like a diamond while you're doing it.

And speaking of significant numbers, here's some really cool info on the Olympic cauldron. It's made up of 204 individual copper torches, one for each competing nation.

Each torch petal entered the stadium along with each team during the parade of nations, and was then attached to the cauldron pipes in the center of the arena. I saw them carrying the petals, but I didn't realize what they were at the time.

And here's the coolest part. After the games, the torch will be dismantled and each petal sent home to the member countries, so every nation will have a piece of the cauldron. Still doesn't beat the magnificent cauldron lighting of the Barcelona Games, but incredibly cool, nonetheless.