The entire contents of Noah's Ark is coming for me in my sleep.

Meet the tiger that will haunt my dreams.

So, this weekend I saw Life of Pi. What I loved most is that, in one fell swoop, I completed eight Oscar categories. Eight! That brings my tally to 9 down, 15 to go. And if this week goes according to plan, I'll complete another seven categories.

What I did not love: most of the other stuff about this movie. Okay, here's the deal, it was beautifully shot, well-acted and directed, and visually stunning.

Okay, fine, this was very cool. I'll give you that.

Most people would really love this movie. But I am not most people. If you know me at all, you probably know how I feel about animals. I heartily dislike them. I don't wish them harm, but I also don't wish them anywhere in my vicinity. I'd rather spend a day at the dentist than a day at the zoo.

And this movie is ALL animals. The tiger (haaaate), the baboon, the zebra, the hyena, tons of hideous fish of every sort, whales, sharks, and dolphins, and let's not forget the meerkats. It was heinous. Everywhere you looked more and more animals were popping up, and popping out in my face since it was in 3-D (oh, how I hate 3-D). It was like watching a Hannibal Lecter movie. I was in a constant state of horror and disgust. If only Melis had been sitting next to me laughing at my terror, it would have been the full Silence of the Lambs experience.

Liz and Kris, you guys would probably love this. It was not for me. But hey, eight whole categories--that's not bad at all.