My team is as shallow as Paris Hilton

I am doing shockingly, particularly well in Fantasy Football. I have had the overall top score for three of the five weeks we played. And you know what? I think I figured out why. Listen up, people, because here is the secret for a winning FF team: no depth on the bench. No depth on the bench. That’s all there is to it.

I discovered this when I looked at Jonesy’s bench this week and saw a mortifying 95 points there (more than his starting lineup actually scored), including 32 points from DeAngelo Williams alone. This has happened to many of my fellow players, but not to me. My bench never scores high. And that’s when I realized it: I have nobody good on my bench, therefore I have no real decisions to make for my lineup, therefore I avoid all that tinkering that can end up biting you in the butt.

Now, if some of my starters get injured, I am screwed but good; but if they can just stay healthy, I can continue to avoid making any decisions at all, aside from the ones I made on draft day. And there it is ladies and gentlemen: no backups, no handcuffs, nothing that can insure you from total disaster in the event you are “Tom Brady-ed.” I may be one snapped hamstring away from complete annihilation, but that’s the way I play.

Now please, for the love of decency, pray for my hamstrings!