This past weekend, I (sort of) broke my Wal-Mart boycott, but it was in the name of a glorious cause: game awesomeness. Zack introduced us to the Wal-Mart Game, something he’s been playing for years. (When you marry into a game-loving family, it’s always a good idea to bring some awesome games of your own to the table. Good show, Zack.) When he described it to us, I knew we had to play, boycott or not.
We gathered the troops. Zack and Liz were leading the charge and of course Kristen and I were all for it. Jackie was very excited to go. Nicole absolutely refused to go with us (boo!) and Jimmy had to be pulled off the couch where he was sound asleep. With six people in tow, we set off to start a new family tradition.
How to play the Wal-Mart game:
Step 1: Choose a 24-hour Wal-Mart and arrive no earlier than 1:00 AM. We arrived at 1:38.
Step 2: Split into two teams. Zack, Jackie, and I took on Liz, Kristen, and Jimmy. If this becomes the family tradition I suspect it will, I envision four or five teams roving the aisles.
Step 3: Take 30 minutes to comb the aisles finding ten items that will be difficult to put back. Avoid obvious places such as the cereal aisle. Feel free to choose feminine hygiene products if the opposing team is all male. Place the ten items in your cart, taking care that the opposing team does not see you in the act of choosing an item. You must be sure that there is at least one identical item left on the shelf after you’ve taken yours.
Step 4: Meet at a pre-arranged location (in our case, the display of citrus fruit) in order to exchange carts. Before the exchange, I suggest a quick bathroom break since you probably stopped at Sheetz on the way there for Cuppocino and Red Bull, even though Red Bull is vile despite what Jackie says.
Step 5: Exchange carts and the game is on! Teams must stay together at all times, and try not to run so fast that they are caught by the manager and thrown out into the dark Pennsylvania night. Whichever team puts away all ten items and arrives back the pre-arranged location first can call the other team on their cell phones and gloat. You may even be so pumped that you want to immediately play another round. Do so, unless the cousin that you dragged off the couch at 1:00 AM declares with bloodshot eyes, “There is no way that is going to happen” and then threatens to lie down on the shelf next to the baking soda unless you take him home right away.
The name of the game is strategy. Liz, Jimmy, and Kristen had us roving aisle after aisle looking for a display of gluten-free soy-based chocolate chips, and the jacket from the hunting gear section had us caught in the menswear section for quite a while. Two items in particular were our works of genius. Jackie chose an L bracket from the hardware aisle that was displayed in a barely visible cardboard box on the top shelf, and Zack picked some temporary tattoos from the impulse buy section at the registers. Masterful.
Afterward, the others bought some two dollar DVDs from the Black Friday bin, but I waltzed out of the store having purchased exactly nothing. I will leave it to you to decide whether I technically broke my boycott or not. All I know is that I left Wal-Mart with a smile on my face, and that’s a first.
Start strategizing for the Christmas round, cousins.
We gathered the troops. Zack and Liz were leading the charge and of course Kristen and I were all for it. Jackie was very excited to go. Nicole absolutely refused to go with us (boo!) and Jimmy had to be pulled off the couch where he was sound asleep. With six people in tow, we set off to start a new family tradition.
How to play the Wal-Mart game:
Step 1: Choose a 24-hour Wal-Mart and arrive no earlier than 1:00 AM. We arrived at 1:38.
Step 2: Split into two teams. Zack, Jackie, and I took on Liz, Kristen, and Jimmy. If this becomes the family tradition I suspect it will, I envision four or five teams roving the aisles.
Step 3: Take 30 minutes to comb the aisles finding ten items that will be difficult to put back. Avoid obvious places such as the cereal aisle. Feel free to choose feminine hygiene products if the opposing team is all male. Place the ten items in your cart, taking care that the opposing team does not see you in the act of choosing an item. You must be sure that there is at least one identical item left on the shelf after you’ve taken yours.
Step 4: Meet at a pre-arranged location (in our case, the display of citrus fruit) in order to exchange carts. Before the exchange, I suggest a quick bathroom break since you probably stopped at Sheetz on the way there for Cuppocino and Red Bull, even though Red Bull is vile despite what Jackie says.
Step 5: Exchange carts and the game is on! Teams must stay together at all times, and try not to run so fast that they are caught by the manager and thrown out into the dark Pennsylvania night. Whichever team puts away all ten items and arrives back the pre-arranged location first can call the other team on their cell phones and gloat. You may even be so pumped that you want to immediately play another round. Do so, unless the cousin that you dragged off the couch at 1:00 AM declares with bloodshot eyes, “There is no way that is going to happen” and then threatens to lie down on the shelf next to the baking soda unless you take him home right away.
The name of the game is strategy. Liz, Jimmy, and Kristen had us roving aisle after aisle looking for a display of gluten-free soy-based chocolate chips, and the jacket from the hunting gear section had us caught in the menswear section for quite a while. Two items in particular were our works of genius. Jackie chose an L bracket from the hardware aisle that was displayed in a barely visible cardboard box on the top shelf, and Zack picked some temporary tattoos from the impulse buy section at the registers. Masterful.
Afterward, the others bought some two dollar DVDs from the Black Friday bin, but I waltzed out of the store having purchased exactly nothing. I will leave it to you to decide whether I technically broke my boycott or not. All I know is that I left Wal-Mart with a smile on my face, and that’s a first.
Start strategizing for the Christmas round, cousins.
9 comments:
video game console and video games....easy to find...nearly impossible to put back.......
I'm at Wal Mart all the time. I think I have the store memorized (although I may struggle with the J-town one since they rearranged it). I think I'd be a good person to play this game...for instance, I would have known the hunting coat went with the sporting goods dept. And I can think of several items that would be hard to find.
If I can find a sitter for my kids, count me in for Christmas.
This sounds both stressful and overwhelming to me. However, a part of me wants to play!
Who knew Wal-Mart could be so much fun? That game was definitely awesome.
P.S. I think I still have Red Bull in my system. Bleck.
If we find ourselves with more than 2 teams for this Christmas Wal-Mart Game Jamboree, I recommend devising some kind of point system. The game ends the moment one of the teams finishes. Each team gets 2 points for every item they have returned and 3 points for every item unreturned from the cart they passed to another team. This could add and interesting dynamic where you may be the first team to finish, but not necessarily win the game. The winning team would of course have to return the unreturned items to demonstrate that they were valid. Under this point system, we walloped Liz, Jim, and Kristen 32-12. I look forward to the discussion of a good point system depending on how many people we can get to join the game.
Ooh, Zack, I like that idea. It rewards ingenuity in the selection process, which you need with more than two teams. With only two teams, your ingenuity is already rewarded because your sole opponents are playing with your items, but with more teams we definitely need to institute a point system.
The real question is will we be able to play with twenty people and not get thrown out of the store. That remains to be seen.
You guys have jobs, right. Where are you finding the time Ali, Kris, and Zack to chat away about the awesomeness of the game?
Please note that I am commenting in the evening when I am finished with my workday :)
I am so happy, Zackery, that you felt the need to point out just how much you crushed us. That said, I too like the idea of a points system.
what work day, mom?
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