Merry Christmas

From all of us.

Merry Christmas Eve

This one's for Jules...

A lovely cheese pizza, just for me. 

Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi.

Kevin, what did you do to my room?

We're the wet bandits!

Buzz, you girlfriend. Woof.

Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association? 

Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?

Keep the change, ya filthy animal! 

 

Merry Christmas Eve Eve

I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know
 I seems an insane person, because I hardly knows you, but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof.

Stateside I am Prince William, without the weird family.

All I want for Christmas is you.

Yeah, um, Mary, can we move the Japanese ambassador
to four o'clock tomorrow?

Now which doll shall we give Daisy's little friend Emily? The one that looks like a transvestite or the one that looks like a dominatrix?

NO! No bloody holly!

So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your
Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to
squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.

Well, this is a surprise. Ten minutes at Elton John's and
you're as gay as a maypole.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve

I'm the worst toymaker in the world!
I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

We elves try to stick to the four main food groups:
candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
You sit on a throne of lies!

You don't smell like Santa; you smell like beef and cheese.

Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?

Son of a nutcracker!

I just like smiling; smiling's my favorite.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve Eve Eve

Show Mommy how the piggies eat!

In the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space somewhere over Lake Michigan.

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

Only I didn't say "fudge."  I said THE word. The big one. The Queen-Mother of Dirty Words. The "F-dash-dash-dash" word.

   

Bumpuseeessssss!!!!!

Football? Football? What's a football?

Schwartz created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat!

Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap.Though my personal preference was for Lux, I found that Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heavy, but with a touch of mellow smoothness.

It's a major award!

He had yellow eyes! So help me, YELLOW EYES!

DC theater, baby!

So, I’ve been hitting the DC theater scene pretty hard lately. Here are a few things I saw this month.

Les Liaisons Dangereuses

This was a French production of the famous play, directed by John Malcovich. They were a smash in Paris and now they’re on a world tour and the only place they stopped in North America was DC, so of course I had to go. Alas, I did not get a glimpse of Mr. Malcovich, but I’m sure I’d have dorked out on him anyway. I never know what to say to famous people. (Oh, except, “Casablanca.”)

The play was performed in French with English surtitles (a screen across the top of the stage translated the dialogue.) I noticed that sometimes the translation appeared on the screen before the actor delivered the line, and I wonder if it was difficult for the actors to have the audience reacting to their lines before they had spoken them.

What really helped was that I know the dialogue from the movie Dangerous Liaisons almost completely (because of course I do), and since that film was based on this play, it was almost exactly the same. It helped to be able to concentrate more on the action of the play than the surtitle screen. The production was fantastic and I'll never be afraid to go to a surtitled play in the future.

The Last of the Haussmans

This is the third National Theater Live production I’ve seen. I didn’t like it as well as The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, which had the coolest stage (an electronic floor that let them transform from a bedroom to a neighborhood to a moving train to a Tube station—oh it was so cool) and nothing will ever come close to Frankenstein, but this play was really delightful.

The cast was amazing: Julie Walters (who is a national treasure), Rory Kinnear (who I would watch read the phone book), and Helen McCrory (who is lucky enough to be married to the most handsome redhead on the planet and who is, I’m pretty sure, aging backward like Benjamin Button). They were all wonderful, but I want to say this now so I can get it on the record: Taron Egerton. Remember that name. He’s something special. He just has this certain quality that shines out and I can’t wait to see what he does next.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

This is one of the National Shakespeare Company’s performances and it is astounding. I saw it a couple weeks ago and I was so delighted that I bought another ticket and saw it again last night. And there was a Q&A with the cast afterward that was really interesting.

It was hilarious and delightful and every good adjective. The guy playing Puck was beyond wonderful. He completely stole the show, even more than Puck usually steals it. And there was even a mud fight. Oh yes, a mud fight. 

 Clearly this was awesome.

A truly splendid sight.

This post of 100 Photos of the Day from 2012 is well worth your time. Below, a few of my favorites.