True Friendship!

What is friendship? Aristotle said something about a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Yeah, whatever. I think friendship is demonstrated in things like telling your friends about awesome places like Savannah’s Southern Take-out. I was recently introduced to this place by people who must truly love me; otherwise they’d have kept it to themselves. Savannah’s is located on Scalp Avenue, it’s exclusively take-out, and it’s just fabulous. They have good southern cookin’, everything is homemade, and everything is delicious. We had ribs, barbecued chicken, candied yams, collard greens, mac and cheese, barbecue beans, and cornbread. Then we played Spite and Malice and whined about how full we were. It was like being in the Deep South, but without the wretched heat and 18-hour drive.

Because everything is homemade, they sometimes run out of stuff so you should call ahead if you have a big order. I suggest you eat your collard greens with your cornbread, the way the girls in Mississippi taught me to do it.

Things I Have Learned While Helping to Put Together a Crib

1. Pay attention to where you set down that Allen wrench.
2. Electric screw guns are roughly as essential to life as oxygen.
3. When someone eagerly stands back and allows you to engage the locking pins over the base board, it’s because he knows that the process will bend back and/or split your nails and he is taking advantage of your naiveté.
4. When you perform this task on camera, you are creating a semi-permanent record of your clumsiness.

You really ought to know about this movie

So I created this Excel spreadsheet to track all my DVDs and books because I am a freak. The DVD one is a thing of beauty because I have columns detailing the genre, format, and special notes so that I can do things like separate out my Coen Brothers movies in a jiffy. There’s also a column to track who gave it to me if it was a gift and, most importantly, who has it if it was lent out. I spent quite a bit of time on this since I have such a ludicrous number of DVDs that they really ought to preclude me from having a Netflix membership, but I love Netflix so deeply that I don’t even let thoughts like that bother me. So, imagine how I felt when all my planning and freakish organization failed me as I looked for my Suicide Kings DVD to no avail. It turns out I lent it to Josh before I even made the spreadsheet and it’s now packed in his DVD boxes in his new house in Virginia. I’ll be getting it back soon, so that’s cool but that brings me to the point of this post: Suicide Kings is such a fantastic film, people.

Suicide Kings is one of those movies that most people don’t seem to know about. Most people I know, anyway. When I find someone who has seen that movie and loves it like I do, I feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit. It’s like, “Ah, you love Suicide Kings, so now I feel like I understand you and we will never run out of things to talk about.”

I just love Christopher Walken and Denis Leary so much that I couldn’t believe my luck when I found them in the same movie together. It is utterly quotable in almost any situation, except for the fact that it is laden with so much profanity, but after years of movie watching I am pretty much desensitized to profanity, so that’s really not a problem for me. (Sorry Mom.) If you are also moderately desensitized to profanity and have a love of awesome movies and/or would like to never run out of things to talk about with me, go rent it!

Simon Pegg, marry me!

I recently rented Hot Fuzz and was reminded just how brilliant Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright are. They’re like these super-cool guys who are so funny and clever and even cooler because they’re not trying to be cool or even aware of their supreme coolness. Nick Frost, too. Extremely cool. This led me to, once again, pull Shaun of the Dead off my shelf, because any evening watching Shaun of the Dead is a good one. You should totally go rent these movies. Watch Shaun first and then Fuzz. Have a Pegg/Wright/Frost evening and then be sad that you’ll never be as awesome or clever or funny as these guys.

I had SUCH a great day today

I had the BEST time in New York City today. We (me, Melis, Brian, Jackie, Kristen, and her friend) drove in to see Rent now that the original actors (Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp) for the two main characters are back for a limited run. The show was amazing, just amazing. These guys have such wonderful chemistry and such a great rapport on stage. They also appear to not have aged in the last decade. I don’t know if they’re sleeping in Tupperware or bathing in the blood of children, but they looked great. We were among the last to leave the theatre and Jackie (who had never seen the show before today) looked over and said, “Um, isn’t that the guy? Isn’t that one of the originals?” Sure enough, Anthony Rapp was standing ten feet away, waiting to step outside the see the mob of screaming fans waiting on the sidewalk. Nice catch, Jacks. We were happy to catch a glimpse of him because the mob outside was so huge, there was no seeing anything out there.

That evening Kris and her friend were seeing an off-Broadway play and Jackie and Brian scored standing room tickets for Jersey Boys, so Melis and I were on our own. We tried to get lottery tickets for the evening show of Rent, but failed. We headed to TKTS and, after much deliberation, settled on Xanadu. We were very unsure of our choice and even tried to trade them in at one point. What a foolish mistake that would have been! The show was awesome. Hilarious, clever, great music, great cast (including Cheyenne Jackson! Anyone who has seen All Shook Up knows exactly what I’m talking about.) This show is great! Go see it! But the best part was after the show. We went to the stage door and met Cheyenne. What a lovely, gracious (completely freakin’ adorable) guy he is. He signed our Playbills, took a photo with me and Melis, and was all enthusiastic when she told him that she directed All Shook Up for her high school. Melis and I walked down the street giggling like the 12 year-old girls that we secretly inwardly are. It was pretty awesome.

Then Melis had the bright idea to head down to the Rent stage door to see if Anthony and Adam would come out and sign our Playbills. Xanadu is a short show and we were out way before the others, so we had some time to kill and thought that we could beat the crazy mob to good spots for seeing the Rent guys. On the way down to Rent we stopped at a newspaper stand for a drink and I had an incredible stroke of luck. My favorite gum (cinnamon flavored Freshen Up) is impossible to find in Pennsylvania but there, lo and behold, sat 8 packs of it. My eyes widened, my heart raced, I pounced. I gathered up all 8 packs and the little old Chinese lady behind the counter gasped in shock. Then she pulled out her stash from below the counter and asked if I wanted more. I said, “Yes, I’ll take two more. So that will be 1 bottle of water and 10 packs of gum, please.” The guy behind me said, “Is that the gum with the liquid center? Man, that stuff is hard to find.” Seriously dude. I look for it everywhere. I was even hoping to stumble upon it in London. Now I am so stocked up, and I walked down 7^th Avenue, giddy with my good fortune.

Then it was on to Rent. We got there in plenty of time to get a front row spot on the barricades they set up to handle the crazy crowds by the stage door. About 20 minutes later, the show let out and the people who had rushed like madmen from their seats were horrified to find there was already a crowd, three people deep, at the barricades. More and more people swarmed in and started shoving us against the barricades like it was a Who concert in Cincinnati. Let me take a moment to explain, in case you’re not familiar with this show, that Rent fans are the most fanatical, semi-psycho fans on Broadway. It is a huge deal that Anthony and Adam came back, and it’s really tough to get tickets right now and people go crazy to see them. The crowd pours into the streets, the NYPD has officers there, it’s pandemonium. And Melis and I were at the front of it all.

Anthony came out first. He was very polite and reserved and kept thanking people for their enthusiasm. The crowd went so crazy and I thought we were going to flip the barricade over and end up, face down, on the ground at his feet. He signed our Playbills and spent a lot of time with the crowd and was very gracious. I told him I have liked him since Adventures in Babysitting (“Oh Thor, mighty god of thunder!”) and he, somewhat disappointingly, did not respond with “Ya think?” I guess you can’t have everything. Then Adam came out and the crowd went wild. Girls were screaming, “Adam, marry me!” He had to stop signing autographs to ask people to calm down and take a step back so those of us at the front didn’t get crushed. He also spent lots of time with the crowd and was completely adorable. Then the NYPD had to step in and push the barriers back and do some crowd control, which basically consisted of screaming at people to stop pushing. It was pretty fabulous.

Oh for pity's sake, I am so dumb

I drove to the Gibsons' tonight to spend the weekend. About 30 minutes into my trip, I called their house to check what their dinner plans were. I talked to Uncle Giz. The conversation went thusly:

Me: I'll be there around 8:30. What are your dinner plans?
Giz: Where are you now?
Me: Ebensburg.
Giz: Ebensburg?
Me: Yeah, Ebensburg.
Giz: Why are you in Ebensburg?
Me: (silence, as I contemplate my stupidity)
Giz: Ebensburg? E-B-E-N-S-B-U-R-G? Ebensburg?
Me: Ummmm, yeah?
Giz: Why are you in Ebensburg?
Me: Because I am so freakin' dumb!

And then Uncle Giz had a hearty chuckle at my expense, and then he made a joke about my stupidity and involving the city of Erie, and then I hung up on him.

But wait! I'm even more stupid than you realize. I was driving up the Johnstown Expressway and I got to where the highway splits and I thought to myself, "I need to go through Windber." And then I thought to myself, "No, that's the way to Chris' house. Instead I should go through Ebensburg." As if Chris' house (in Harrisburg) is not on the way to the Gibsons'! Clearly I have some sort of brain disease.

Okay, fine. FINE.

I ate the shoe cookie.

Life's full of tough choices, innit?

So, I'm sitting here eating a really good cookie and, because I am clumsy, I dropped the last two bites into my shoe (I'm sitting here in my socks.) So, now I'm trying to decide if I should eat the shoe cookie or throw it away.

Boy, Ursula, you weren't kidding.

I did not steal this

I love Ikea. I love to walk through the Showroom and imagine what my house would look like all sleek and modern and Swedish-looking. And then I like to go down to the Marketplace and buy cheap batteries and rugs and decorative boxes and chocolates. I would spend all my free time there if I lived near one. I really identified with that guy in Fight Club.

My favorite cheap things to buy are Ikea shopping bags. The ones you use in the store are yellow, but they started making them in blue and selling them for 99 cents, probably to stop people from walking off with their yellow ones. Let me repeat that: 99 cents! That makes me want to find random Swedish people and kiss them so much. I bought my first one last year and used it to haul laundry to my Mom’s house when my dryer was broken. Aunt Linda saw it and promptly accused me of stealing it from the store. I was suitably insulted and then explained the color difference. She persisted in insinuating that I was a thief and continues to do so to this day just to amuse herself. I now own 5 of these bags and I’ll probably be going back for more. They are so fantastic. I keep one in the car for emergencies and use one to store crap in the basement. I use them all the time. They’re great for hauling groceries into the house, hauling board games to Gram’s or Uncle Denny’s on picnic days, or even as an overnight bag. I arrived at Chris’ house for the weekend with my stuff in one and he called me a hobo or something, but I don’t care. I'm leaving for the Gibsons' tonight and I'll arrive with my stuff contained in one of these bags and I will probably be called a thief again.

They are awesome. They hold so much and they fold up so small, so you can use one as your overnight bag and then you can toss a folded one into your overnight bag so you can use it to haul home all the crap you buy when visiting your friends because you're all just a bunch of shopaholics who really need help. But these bags really are fantastic. You should definitely buy them. I love the Swedes!

What little patience I had is gone and it’s all Apple’s fault

I just got The History Boys movie soundtrack from Amazon. I was utterly disgusted that it was not available on iTunes because my iPod has spoiled me into thinking that I should be able to have whatever music I want immediately. Giant Eagle is also partly to blame because I buy iTunes gift cards whenever I go grocery shopping, telling myself that I’m only upping my gas reward points. Then I always have a money credit on my iTunes account which allows me to purchase music with reckless abandon. Oh man, I have spent so much money.

Anyway, History Boys was not available on iTunes, so I had to go through Amazon and, instead of getting the album in the 90 seconds it takes to download, I had to wait an entire six days and it was monstrous. But now that I have it, I cannot stop listening to Samuel Barnett’s rendition of Rodgers and Hart’s Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered. I love Rodgers and Hart so very much and I love, love, love Samuel Barnett’s voice. It’s so clear and beautiful. And I love his particularly English pronunciation of words like “laugh” and “half.” So. Very. Delightful. I love English people. The piano accompaniment is marvelous as well. I remember watching the movie and seeing Jamie Parker’s fingers fly so deftly across the keys and cursing myself for never learning to play an instrument. (I was not born under a musical planet.) Guys, I cannot stop listening to this song. I can currently be seen walking the streets of Old Westmont with my iPod and this deliriously dreamy look on my face as Samuel Barnett’s voice swells in my ears. So worth the 6-day wait.

I’ll bet they used animals to test Prozac

Okay, so I’m hooked on the show Rock of Love. It’s so embarrassing that I have to just come right out and say it quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. I blame Amanda. It all goes back to the time she was visiting from Texas and we stayed up till 2 AM eating pancakes and watching a Flavor of Love marathon in which Flava Flav somehow (and I still don’t know how) restrained himself from taking that giant clock necklace and smacking New York across her smug face. Needless to say, I was rooting for Deelishis. Now that show was hilarious, particularly when New York’s certifiably crazy mother tried to lure her daughter from the Flav house by pretending to have a terminal illness. Sadly, the ruse failed about 17 seconds in because Mama York didn’t think far enough ahead to come up with a name for her fake disease. I mean, syphilis would have been the obvious choice as it would also account for the insanity.

Anyway, all this is to say that the show was great fun in a “I really shouldn’t admit I watched this to anyone” way and Amanda got me hooked. So, when I saw that VH1 was doing a similar show called Rock of Love in which former Poison front man Bret Michaels looks for love among a group of women too young to remember when Every Rose Has Its Thorn hit the airwaves, I had to check it out. Oh man, jackpot! This show is hysterically funny in a horrifying way. The women are almost all incredibly stupid and/or continually drunk. The exception to this rule is Jess, who is smart and funny and has awesome pink hair that I covet and wish I could pull off. I am rooting for her, but I also really like Brandi M, because even though she spends much of the show in a drunken stupor, she is so funny. She has a biting, caustic wit that would serve her well as a writer for The Daily Show. Jon Stewart should really look into that.

Lacey is clearly the “New York” of the show: totally insane and convinced that she is awesome when, in reality, she is just an awful, awful person. I’m certain the producers are instructing Michaels to keep her on till the end for ratings purposes. I look forward to the season finale where Lacey gets the boot as she so richly deserves and hopefully runs off to refill her Prozac prescription. Also, she’s one of those really obnoxious PETA people who get all in your face about eating meat, like, shut up crazy girl, I like steak!

The show is about half over by now, but I recommend trying to catch a marathon of it sometime in the future. If you’re so lucky as to do that, definitely make yourself some pancakes.

Elections are coming! Order that dress!

So Jenna Bush is engaged. She needs to set a date, like now. I would so totally have a White House wedding. How many people get the chance to do that? She’s a fool if she doesn’t.

Mad Men

I am so happy I found this show. It’s really well written and acted, but mostly it is such a delight to look at. Everything and everyone looks so pretty. The furniture has that sleek, “modern for the 50s” look. All the women are decked out in pencil skirts or crinoline and cinched waists. All the men are in smart suits and crisp white shirts. It makes me wish Brylcreem was back in style.

The guy playing Don Draper looks so great with his slicked hair and his five o’clock shadow, he’s like Cary Grant. I don’t want to see him out of costume, I don’t want to watch any interviews with him, I don’t want to think about him being from our time.

Tonight’s episode opened with Don and his wife returning from an awards dinner and he was in a tux with the bowtie undone like a Rat Pack member and she was in a fabulous sequined gown with long satin gloves and a fur stole. It was like a Hitchcock movie. One with Grace Kelly. The show is on AMC on Thursday nights at 10, and you should really check it out, if only to see some gorgeous clothes and décor.

I'll try not to make this too obnoxious

Nik's in Louisiana, Becky's in China (CHINA!), Amanda's in Texas (which may as well be China for all I get to see her), and there's a continual exodus of cousins to the West Coast. Everyone's all over, so if you want to know what's going on with me, you can check here.