Step into my mint cellar.

Are you like me? Do you enjoy the breath-freshening powers of Altoids, but are too wimpy to actually ingest them? Do you think the tin and the old-timey logo and the paper wrapping inside the tin and the use of the phrase “curiously strong” are all just delightful but the thought of actually putting one in your mouth makes you a little nervous because you anticipate having to spit it out again almost immediately? Do you enjoy the fact that they’re made in Great Britain and have been for about as long as our nation has been in existence, but sucking on one would make you want to throw yourself into Boston Harbor with some teabags in your pockets?

I love Altoids. I love the tin and the fact that when you open the tin there’s a little historical tale printed inside and the fact that the tale uses the word “confectioner.” The only thing I don’t like about Altoids is their taste. I understand this is a significant hurdle to overcome when dealing with an edible product. But now I’ve got a solution: age them. Age them like fine wine. Take your adorable Altoid tins, put them on a shelf, and leave them there for a few years. When you revisit them, their flavor will have dissipated down to a tolerable level and you can be free to enjoy them.

I discovered this when I opened my desk drawer and found a tin of cinnamon Altoids that had been forgotten in there for a few years. And by “forgotten” I mean “tossed in the drawer because I couldn’t stand the torture unleashed upon my tongue when one of those foul discs was placed into my mouth.” For some reason, I decided to try one of the rediscovered mints. Perhaps it was the beautiful tin that drew me in, or the siren song of the pretty pink pieces, untouched by years of neglect and protected inside their tin casing. Whatever the reason, I tried one, and found to my utter delight that after all this time they had only now become edible! Eureka!

I realize there’s a sizeable downside to this plan: you have to purchase mints now in anticipation of enjoying them in 2 – 3 years. But think how cute the tins will look lined up on a kitchen shelf. And why are you in such a terrible rush anyway?