So I had to run an errand for my dear sister today, which necessitated me driving on that kind of road that makes you want to speed in the most egregious manner. You know that kind, all smooth surfaces and gentle curves and the sun is shining and the sky is blue and you just want to be that guy in that obnoxious Jaguar commercial where they pronounce "Jaguar" in three very distinct syllables.
Well, I couldn't be the guy in the Jag commercial. I couldn't even be the guy in the Dodge Caravan commercial. I got behind one of those Penn Dot line painting trucks that travels the road slowing people down so the paint has time to dry. It went 15 miles per hour as I followed it for almost 40 minutes. Forty minutes! No, seriously, take a moment to yourself to imagine that. You back? Okay. I couldn't pass because there's a big No Passing sign on the back of the truck, I couldn't take another path because there was no other path, I couldn't drive my car off the cliff and end my misery because I would have crossed the lines and messed up the paint. So, I said to myself, "I can't get out of this situation or change this situation so I'm just going to sit here and listen to my music and enjoy the sunshine and the scenery as it creeps past me literally in the time it takes for paint to dry." I was feeling very Zen.
This attitude served me well when a garbage truck pulled out in front of the Penn Dot truck, so not only were we going 15, we were stopping every two blocks. I burst into the maniacal laughter of one who has achieved peace with her soul-crushing highway experience and calculated how late I'd have to stay at work tonight to make up for my extended lunch break. But it's okay. I’m Zen. Really. Very Zen.
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