Well, that'll teach me to leave my computer on in the presence of mischievous cousins.

Dear Kiefer,

If you didn't want people to be "skeeved," as you say, you should have re-thought your film choices.

Exhibit A: A Few Good Men.
Exhibit B: A Time To Kill.
Exhibits C - J: An Eye For An Eye.

I mean, really! Look at your filmography. Look at your roles, sir. Murderer, murderer, child molester, murderer/child molester, KKK member, Three Musketeer. And not even the funny Musketeer. No, the other one. The one over in the corner alone, with the bottle of brandy and the look on his face like he just finished reading the entire collected works of Thomas Hardy. It was a Disney film, and you still managed to be creepy. What is one to think?

Also, I will not be at my apartment for the next week, so you'll have to entertain yourself. Don't touch my Seinfeld DVDs and don't eat all the Oreos. And it wouldn't kill you to pick up the Swiffer once in a while.

-Allison