Incontrovertible proof: Curling is not a sport

This past summer, during our annual trip to the Gibsons’ to swim, be lazy, and stuff our faces, Melis and I found ourselves in the pool discussing Olympic sports. She was upset that softball is getting the boot, I was relating the amusing fact that roller skating is up for possible inclusion in future games, and all of this ended with me declaring that curling is not a sport. Sorry, Canada. And I still maintain that it is not a sport. I think it’s more like a board game. You don’t have to have any kind of physical prowess to play it. It’s bowling on ice. No, it’s shuffleboard on ice.

Melis countered that you needn’t be athletic to participate in archery, and that’s considered a sport. And that lots of people would say gymnastics isn’t a true sport because it relies on judging as opposed to a quantifiable score. Whatever. I have no time for her logical arguments! I am too busy being certain that curling participants shouldn’t be on the receiving end of Olympic medals until there’s a Trivial Pursuit category at the games.

And it appears I’m not alone. Behold! A list of the top ten fictional sports! And what should make an appearance at number 6? Oh yeah, that’s right. And can I just say, the fact that the photo shows little old ladies in cable knit sweaters on the ice only proves my point. When’s the last time your Great Aunt Harriet strapped on some knee pads and played volleyball?

Besides, it’s on the interwebs, so it must be true.