Sorry about your dad’s cancer. Now get out.

Amanda and Gena told me it would be a good one, and they were right. Tonight’s episode of Rock of Love whittled us down from three women to the final two. But before that happened, we got to meet the girls’ families. Correction: we got to meet Ambre and Destiney’s families, and we got to meet Daisy’s ex-boyfriend’s sister because apparently her family doesn’t speak to her. What? They couldn’t get, like, an aunt or cousin up in here? When your closest “relative” is your ex’s sister, it’s maybe time to take stock of your life and figure out where it all went wrong. My guess would be sometime around the hair extensions.

Anyway, Daisy is sitting there all sad and glum while Ambre and Destiney greet their parents, and wondering who, if anyone, will come for her on Family Day. It was pretty depressing and I started to feel really sorry for her. Until she opened her duck lips and spoke and then I remembered that if I were in her family I wouldn’t talk to her either. Then I decided to spend all my sympathy on Destiney, whose father has terminal liver cancer.

The girls each get a solo date with Bret. On the first date, Bret grills Daisy some more about her fishy relationship with her “ex” Charles. Daisy’s response? “My life isn’t black and white. It’s color.” Bret’s response that that? “Thank you for the education, there, Kodachrome, but what the hell are you talking about?” Exactly, Bret. Exactly. Daisy then declared her love for Bret. Meanwhile Charles’ sister is staring at her all, “You are the property of my brother. Especially your silicone parts.”

On the second date, Bret took Destiney and her parents to the tattoo parlor so Destiney could get a tattoo of the Rock of Love logo on her neck. Apparently she thought this was cool because Heather did it, and can I just say, I think Destiney has more of crush on Heather than on Bret. During the inking, Bret revealed that tattoo pain turns him on. And really, what doesn’t? Collagen! Strippers! Brussel sprouts! Total turn-on!

On the third date, Ambre found herself in hot water when it was revealed that she is 37 years old, and not 32 as she had been telling Bret. I think Bret should have been in hot water for not having the intelligence to tell that that’s not what a 32 year-old looks like, but perhaps I’m just sensitive because I’ll be approaching that age in the not too distant future. Anyway, Bret is shocked, SHOCKED, that Ambre would lie to him about her age. Oh no, Bret! Women lie about their age! This just in: Daisy’s lips aren’t real either!

Oh, and P.S. Between “Scott Baio Is 45 and Single” and the Celebrity Fit Club previews in which Erin Moran is getting drunk and behaving like a stripper, so much so that even Tina Yothers is disgusted, I think it’s pretty clear that VH-1 has ruined Happy Days for all of us.

Before eliminations, the girls have a little chat in which Ambre and Daisy call Destiney on not being attached enough to Bret. Daisy asks Destiney if she would still be on the show if it was Jon Bon Jovi or John Stamos they were dating, and she does so in a tone of voice that implies that she thinks either of those men is LESS of a catch than Bret Michaels. Can collagen seep into your brain?

During eliminations Bret tells each of the ladies what he admires about them. The only thing of note was when he described Daisy as creative. Creative? In what areas? Collagen injection? Hair extensions? Perhaps Daisy could have her own show on the DIY network. Tramping it up! with Daisy de la Hoya. "On this week’s episode: Breast implants and you. The choice to go with silicone or saline. Our hostess has two of each, just for good measure!"

In the end, it was Destiney who had to go, because she wasn’t prepared to say she was in love after spending two weeks with Bret and 20 other girls, most of whom were strippers. This has to be the most respect I had for her all season.

Next week: Mexico! Bret takes Daisy out on a yacht (because apparently the people who developed the show felt the need to copy season 1 point by point) and she gets seasick and vomits off the side. I suppose it only makes sense that Daisy’s date is on a boat. She’s a human flotation device.