Monday, September 14, 2009

Serena Williams is flipping insane.

Did you watch the US Open match? How about the circus of a press conference immediately following, when she tried to justify her behavior? I'm actually kind of pleased she refuses to apologize or even acknowledge that she should apologize. This way I am free to be just as disgusted by her as I please, and isn't that what we all want?

She and Kanye West need to go have dinner with Christian Bale and Russell Crowe. They can form a club for rageaholics with no self-awareness whatsoever, and fight over who gets to be president.

Russell would throw phones, Serena would "shove bleeping tennis balls down people's bleeping throats," Kanye could scream about how Kim Clijsters didn't deserve to win the match because Serena's got one of the best games of all time, and then Christian could jump up on the table and declare, "You're all dead to me, professionally!"

For the last time, celebrities, listen up! If you're famous, you simply must try harder to hide your psychopathic tendencies. I don't need to be watching Gladiator and not be able to concentrate because all I can think is, "Dude throws phones at people when he doesn't get his way." I'm just trying to watch a movie. Or a tennis match. Or a crappy awards show.

Take a page from Tom Brady. I'm convinced he's got bodies in his basement, but it's not like he goes around in blood-soaked t-shirts. The only evidence he displays are his cold, dead eyes, and he can hardly hide those.

8 comments:

melissa stombaugh said...

I may have to print this to share with people I work with because some of these freaks were the topic of our lunch conversation today and not everyone was as outraged as they should be!

Anonymous said...

There is a fine line between genius and insane.

Ali said...

Believe me, it's not that fine.

Linda said...

Ooooh, a list of psychopaths without a mere nod to Kiefer Sutherland? Admirable restraint, Ali. Admirable.

Jimmy Jam said...

not admirable...just an oversight.

Ali said...

Here's the thing. Kiefer terrifies me because of the psychos he's played on screen. But is he threatening people with broken beer bottles in real life? Not that I know of, and that's the point. Do not let your psychopath flag fly free. We're living in a society, here. Act like it.

Amanda said...

Everyone goes a little psycho some time... *evil laugh* hehe

Jimmy Jam said...

but keifer has saved the US of A countless times (countless = 6 seasons) He has PTSD...or PMS.