Oscar round-up

Oscar night finally came! The Gibsons were visiting and we had a little Oscar party with Oscar bingo (Melis complained vociferously about the crappiness of her bingo card), trivia quizzes (thanks Linda for making a quiz that I could participate in), and lots of Butterfingers, Junior Mints, and Whoppers. Melis won the predictions with 18 correct and made sure to rub our noses in the fact that she was womping us without having seen many of the films. Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Okay, first, the superficial. Let's start with the bad and end with the good. Like a Dickens novel.

Looks I Hated:


Jennifer Lawrence
It’s not hideous or anything, it’s just not special. And it reminds me of a tank top. Come on, this is the Oscars. I’d have loved to see her win the statue, but I’d have settled for a fab gown. This wasn’t it. I think she just hasn’t figured out how to dress for the red carpet yet.


Penelope Cruz
Again, not awful (in fact the dress itself is lovely) but it didn’t fit well. I know she recently gave birth, but all the more reason for comfort. It's hard to tell from this pic, but she was stuffed into that gown like a bratwurst. A few alterations and she’d look amazing. However, she gets points for the evening’s best accessory: her dreamy husband.


Michelle Williams
Washed out. Boring. Next.


Scarlett Johansson
Oh, no. My hair looks better than that after an all-night Trivial Pursuit tournament with one too many Cokes and way too many Swedish Fish. And the dress… just no. There is no excuse for this. Being one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood doesn’t mean you don’t have to try.


Nicole Kidman
That dress has eaten your waist and come back for seconds.


Cate Blanchett
Okay, so there were audible gasps in the room when this flashed onto the screen. Gasps of dismay. No, make that horror. This is one of those gowns that makes me wonder how anyone let you leave the house like this. You have friends, right? Are they afraid to be honest with you? Is it one of those relationships where they hold back so they don’t hurt your feelings? Because it’s that kind of dynamic that allows people to humiliate themselves by trying out for American Idol.

Looks I Loved:


Mila Kunis
Peek-a-boo lace, sheer fabric. This could have looked so trashy. Instead it looked fabulous. The fit was perfection and the color was also perfection. Wonderful.


Hailee Steinfeld
This girl has rocked every red carpet this season by looking beautiful and, even more importantly, age appropriate. This is lovely. She is lovely. I try to think of her whenever I hear depressing Lindsay Lohan news.


Natalie Portman
Making pregnancy look gorgeous.


Gwyneth Paltrow
Sleek and shiny and fabulous. Totally makes up for the pink prom nightmare the year she won for Shakespeare in Love.


Helen Mirren
Sweet fancy Moses, is this woman capable of looking bad? She routinely outshines starlets half her age. She is a treasure.


Anne Hathaway
This one was my favorite of the night. Those ropes of crystals forming the bodice? Yes, please.


Okay, on to the show. No big surprises as far as the awards go. I was sad True Grit didn’t win anything, but I wasn’t surprised. This was a great year for film, one of the strongest years in my memory.

Stuff I Hated:


The hosts. Oh, the hosts. Here’s the thing. In interviews James Franco is nothing if not charming, delightful, and a bit manic. So, I don’t know if the Academy feared his antics and tranqued him before he went onstage, or if he was just exhausted from pursuing 12 doctoral degrees at the same time, but I constantly wanted to jolt him with a cattle prod to wake him up. He was leaving Anne to do all the heavy lifting and, quite frankly, that was a failed strategy. She appeared to be having a wonderful time herself, but the rest of us, not so much. And that awful montage that opened the show? Oh, no. Please, pay Billy Crystal whatever he asks next year.

Kirk Douglas. Yes, you’re a living legend, but you were out there presenting an award for like half an hour. Leave the people wanting more. Don’t leave them wanting security to get out the hook.

That wretched "using technology to turn Twilight into a musical" thing. Hideous! Horrible! Hideously horrible! This is the Oscars. I should not have to think about Twilight.

The Best Picture montage that gave us clips of each of the nominated films but audio from only one: eventual winner The King’s Speech. I felt snubbed on behalf of the other nine films. Even The Kids Are All Right, and I HATED that movie. Bad form, show.


Stuff I Loved:


Luke Matheny winning Best Short Film. First of all, his film was great. Watch it on iTunes or borrow it from me sometime. And his speech. Pure joy, saying he should have gotten a haircut, thanking his mom for doing craft services for the film. It was all so good.

David Seidler’s acceptance speech for Best Original Screenplay for The King’s Speech. Heartfelt, classy, awesome.


Russell Brand presenting with and “translating” for Helen Mirren. I love Russell Brand. There. It might as well all come out. I think he’s hilarious and charming and it showed in his bit with the magnificent Helen. I don’t even hold the Katy Perry thing against him. Excuse me while I go order the Get Him to the Greek DVD.

James Franco’s grandma. “I just saw Marky Mark.” That woman saved the entire Oscar opening, and I loved her for it.


Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law hamming it up while presenting. Perhaps these two are available to host next year?

There was only one political moment in an acceptance speech and it was one I wholeheartedly supported (Best Doc winner Charles Ferguson mentioning that none of the fraudsters who helped destroy the economy are in prison.) Just like a Junior Mint: refreshing.


Sandra Bullock presenting Best Actor. Utterly charming, it seemed like she was just speaking off the cuff and being effortlessly hilarious. She is a delight.


This. Obviously. I have loved this man since the 80s.

Finally, my most favoritest thing ever. You may have heard me rant about the embarrassing waxing and waning of applause during the memorial montage. Well, this year someone must have pointed out to the crowd how tacky they were being because they actually sat there, stoically silent and respectful. I didn’t think I’d see it happen in my lifetime. Thank goodness.